Jacin over at She Said Yes! Posed a very interesting question,
What Makes You Happy?
Then she posted her 15 things and made a challenge…
You know, with all the hard times in the world lately, if you think about it you do get caught up in the pessimistic side of life instead of the optimistic side. In fact, this sounds bad, I love to know the news and what is going on but I hate having to listen to what the news people want to talk about. There are great things going on all over the world but they all have hidden agendas and I got fed up with it. In college every morning I woke up and watched the Today Show. It was my favorite up until the most recent presidential election and I got so mad listening to them that pretty much I gave up watching news. Now I hunt it down or wait for someone to tell me there is an interesting story because it came very apparent that News is a business, not reporting things but trying to get people to believe what they wanted them to… Anyway I’ll stop on that before I really get started!
Back to the Question at hand, 15 things that make me happy…
My Sweetheart! He loves me, cares about me and is there for me when I need him. We deal with tough issues together and we have each other’s back.
2. My Family! Without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. They have backed me and stood behind me 110% of my life!
3. Working. Ok call me odd, that’s fine but I’m not going to say so much that I have to get up and go to work every day, I like the benefits of working, Great co-workers and money which gives me the satisfaction to pay my bills. 4. The smell of Fresh cut Hay & Grass. Nothing beats it but a close tie would be when you smell a rainstorm blowing in 5. Traveling. I love to travel. I don’t care where I go, I want to go. My goal is to go to all 50 states and a few more countries! 6. Riding & Showing horses. There is so much freedom there!
7. I Love to see my dogs bound out at me, even when I’m pulling in the driveway and they won’t get out of the way. It just means they are happy I’m home! 8. I love to cook! I have way more cookbooks than I’ll ever be able to use I’m sure. I could have a different recipe every night and not make it through all my cookbooks but I love cookbooks and I love to cook! 9. It makes me happy to have a clean house. 10. It makes me happy to spend time with my [step] daughter. Even if I do feel mean sometimes 🙁
11. Sleep and naps make me happy as well. I like to feel refreshed, not exhausted! 12. The time in the year between Thanksgiving and Christmas makes me happy. There is something in the air, in the people, just an all around happy feeling. 13. I’m happy when I can put away my coats for the season. I don’t like being cold and when the heat rolls around I’m happy! 14. I’m happy riding around on the tractor helping my dad mow, rake & bale hay. There is peace there, except when you get annoying songs in your head. 15. I am happy spending time with my grandparents. I always thought they were invincible until I lost one set a couple years ago. Now I know not to take them for granted.
So Thursday night my mom and I had plans to leave for Texas. We were going to drive as far as my aunts house in southern Oklahoma and then on Friday morning drive on in to Weatherford. Sill me had forgotten something at home that morning and when PC found out he made a special trip to my house just to pick it up for me. He was waiting for me when I came out of work that afternoon to say good bye and bring me what I forgot. I hopped out of my car and ran around to his truck and gave him a bear hug. I was so excited he was home and so sad I was leaving. Again my mom asked if I still wanted to go to Texas. I told her yes. She said ok then quit hugging him and let’s hit the road. I’m a big stickler about Don’t Text and Drive so I didn’t get to talk to him much on my way down, I was driving. But you can bet every time we stopped I took the opportunity to if nothing more, at least tell him where we were in the state. Once we got to my aunt’s house I called him and talked to him while I got ready for bed.
Turns out that evening he had gone over to my parents house and rode horses with my dad and hung out for the evening. He had just left to go home shortly before I called to say we’d made it to my aunt’s house. It tickled my heart that he was comfortable enough to just hang out with my dad and there was someone to keep my dad company while mom & I were out of town.
Friday morning my mom and I got up and were out of my aunt’s house by 8am to head on into to Weatherford. The whole time we were on the road (night before and that morning) all I could do was talk about my PC. The way he treated me. How special he made me feel.
We got to Weatherford, navigated all the road detours and wound up at the Brazos Arena and met up with my Aunt. We got there just in time to watch my uncle show. After he showed we went down to the show floor and talked to him for a bit. Of course they were interested to know about this “New” guy, especially since they realized I was standing their texting him the whole time I was talking to them. I tried to play it cool, it just wasn’t happening.
Then my uncle jumped on his horse and rode over to talk to other people about his ride. My mom, aunt & I continued to stand there and talk when all the sudden I got this text. I just about died laughing.
Ass Hole
I shared with my mom & aunt and then proceeded to forward it on to my uncle. Wouldn’t you know he didn’t receive picture texts so all he got was “Ass Hole”. I about died in my tracks when my aunt told me that and I saw the look on my uncles face. I immediately made my aunt take my phone over to my uncle to show him the picture. I think that’s the minute my uncle liked PC and he’d never met him.
We all proceeded to walk around the show grounds for a while and I took PC pictures of everything I saw. Then mom, my aunt and I decided it was time to go do girl things and go shopping so my aunt changed her shoes and shirt and stole my uncle’s ball cap and away we went. We all piled into my Mustang and took off for a day of shopping.
Eventually we wound up at this very cool western store that specialized in material and western house apparel. I wondered around and that’s when I saw it. Blue & Brown material. It was the stuff bedding is made out of, or you use to upholster furniture or the opportunities are endless, all I knew is I loved it!
So here’s where awkwardness plays in, not once had PC and I talked about marriage or the future or anything of the sorts, but I found this material and knew that this was “the material” for my bedroom someday. Someday when I was a Mrs. married to the Mr. I got this weird haunch too that maybe I had found the Mr. for my picture. I used the camera on my iPhone and took a picture and sent it to him. Just asked his opinion. Never implied anything, just more of a curiosity thing. He said he really liked it and wondered what it was for. I said oh I don’t know, I just saw it and really liked it, so someday when you get a place of your own, what color do you want your bedroom. I didn’t wait for a text back, I immediately called him for his answer. He chuckled and said I don’t know, I never planned that far ahead. I told him I never had either but I was really feeling a blue & brown room, what did he think of that. Again a chuckle and he said he liked it.
That was it, I knew I had to have this material. I ran it past my mom and asked her what she thought about making me a blue & brown bedroom (she sews) someday. She said sure she’d make me a bedroom outfit out of it. That’s when my aunt jumped in and said she’d buy all the material if I wanted for Christmas. Wow my Christmas present this year from her was easy :).
We left there and ran to Target where I proceeded to buy a highlight kit because my mom said she’d do the highlights in my hair and back to the hotel we went. I have enough hair it seemed like it took forever. Finally 2 1/2 hours later we met back up with my aunt & uncle and their hired hand and went to dinner.
When we got back to the hotel I didn’t want to talk to PC in front of my mom so I walked out of the room in my PJ’s and boots and wandered the hallways talking on my cell phone telling him about my day.
Somewhere around this trip my mom’s attitude toward him started to change for the better. I’m not exactly sure when, why or how but it did and it was obvious.
The next day was a lot of the same, shopping & horse shows. Then we got up to drive home early Sunday morning. PC kept asking where we were on our drive home. 7 1/2 hours later when I pulled into my driveway, the big red truck was waiting for me.
As with any “outing” at my house, when family (or friends but mostly family) comes over, it’s a huge ordeal. Everything has to be in the perfect place and usually it gets put off until the last minute and a lot of times left for me to do. This Sunday was like every other, except this time my mom came up “sick” and couldn’t help. My dad he was busy outside so it was all left up to me. I was frustrated beyond belief. My mom woke me up at 7:30 am to clean the house and get it ready. Wait, I thought this was supposed to be for my birthday… and I’m the one who has to do everything. (yup, I should be used to this by now.) So I spent all morning cleaning, doing dishes and cooking food.
Then my day got better, about 12noon I got a phone call, it was him. He was just around the corner of my house and needed to know exact directions. I was also nervous because he was meeting my parents today also. That’s when it happened, my mom stormed off into the bedroom mad at me and slammed the door shut. I was (and still am) confused about what I did to cause that reaction. My dad walked in the house and asked where my mom went. I told him what little of the story I knew that had happened and he said, okay and went on about his business.
Then he pulled in my driveway. So I was torn, do I make him walk up to the house? Do I stand on the back deck and talk to him? Do I greet him at his car? I went for choice b, stand on the deck and talk to him. He walked up and I took him in the house. My dad was getting ready to walk out so I did a quick introduction and then we went into the kitchen. I had some things in the oven cooking and the timer was getting close to going off.
He asked where my mom was and I told him she was sick and went into her bedroom. I wasn’t sure if she’d be out or not.
Once the timer went off on the oven I pulled whatever was in there out. He asked what the plans were after that. I said I didn’t have any so we decided to get in his car and go for a short drive. I was actually starving, I skipped breakfast and lunch so we went to Sonic and he bought me a Cherry Limeade and cheddar peppers. mmmm! Then we went driving around for a bit until I looked at the clock and realized that I really should get back to the house.
We pulled into the driveway and parked and went upstairs. As I opened the back door to go in the house I heard my mom’s bedroom door slam shut again. Okay so she went back in her room. Awesome.
I wasn’t sure when he planned on going home. I knew he had to get back home and when I say home I meant the 7 1/2 hour trek back to Kentucky. He never left and he never left. So finally I said, “I’m not sure when you are planning on going home, but if you’d like to stay for dinner, you are more than welcome to.” -I hadn’t decided when I was going back. -Well I just wanted you to know you are welcome. You might even get to meet my mother. But you’ll also meet my grandparents and my uncle and whoever else decides to show up. At this point I’m not even sure.
30 minutes to an hour later my grandparents and my uncle showed up. I did all the introductions of him with my family. About that time my dad came in from doing chores and ran to his room to take a quick shower and change clothes. He came out and threw the brats on the grill. Once all the food was ready to go he asked me if I’d spoken to my mother. I told him last I knew she was asleep in on their bed so he told me to go in and ask if she was planning on eating with us or not.
I had to wake her up which made her grouchy and she told me no. So I went back out and told dad. He said okay, I guess lets eat so I moved all the food onto the table and had everyone come in to the table and we ate.
They went home somewhere around 7:30 to 8 and he was still there. My dad had to run the tractor back to my grandparents and get his truck. My dog loves to run with the tractor so he told me to keep Morelli at the house. I brought Morelli into the back door just so he wouldn’t be tempted to follow the tractor. About that time my mom walked out of the bedroom, gave me an evil mom look and walked back into her room and slammed the door again. A few minutes later I got a text asking my my “filthy” dog was in the house. I sent her one back telling her and I got another one that said to Get him out of the house. haha I was getting yelled at through text and was a little embarrassed.
Finally he said he should get going so I walked out to his car with him to say good bye. I asked him how it went and he said it was great. My family was great, my dad and uncle were hilarious, he just wished that he could have met my mom. I shrugged and said I was sorry, maybe another time. We stood outside talking for probably an hour to an hour and a half. I felt so bad because I knew he had to make that trip. He told me he’d go back in the morning, wake up early and drive. That way he wasn’t tired on the way home. Said he’d just go back to his mom’s and crash for the night. Made me feel a little better but I still felt bad that he had to do that.
I gave him a hug that night as he got ready to leave and I didn’t want to turn him loose. Something was different. It was a scary but good different. Silly me even became a girl and cried, not sobbing cry but just a few tears because I didn’t want this boy to leave. I’d had to much fun with him that weekend. More fun than I’d had in a LONG time.
He finally left and I walked into the house. I asked my dad what he thought of him and my dad said he was a very nice young man. I grinned and headed up to my room to wait for him to call and say he’d made it to his mom’s house. Then I jumped in the shower and went to bed with a smile on my face.
***********************
Now no one really cares for Monday mornings, me particularly. I’m really not a morning person anyway. I love to sleep and my co-workers joke that I don’t wake up until around 10am. I woke up before my alarm went off this morning though, with a huge grin on my face. At about 7 I got a phone call from him.
-Good Morning Beautiful, how did you sleep? -Good morning, really well. How about you? -Not bad. I had a great time this weekend. -Yeah me too! So where are you? -On 60 just outside of Springfield. -I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you out so late. -Why I’m not, I could have left anytime I wanted, but I got the chance to meet your family, I wasn’t about to give that chance up! -They were on their best game last night too. -Your grandpa told me I must be a good man. -Yeah he told me that too, said he could tell a lot about a man by their handshake. You passed the test. -I guess so. -Well I better get off of here, I need to get my hair fixed so I can be to work on time. -Ok have a wonderful morning and day. I’m sure I’ll talk to you later on. -Um… hello, you better, I better get something letting me know you made it home. -Don’t worry, you will. bye -bye.
I then went on to fix my hair and get dressed for work all while smiling on a Monday morning. My mom hollered at me and said she was riding to work with me (my parents and I all work for the same company). Sometimes that makes me grumble because 1. I like my alone time and 2. I hate feeling like a little kid who has to drive with their parents because they have a learner’s permit. I know I have issues… LOL. I didn’t even grumble that morning though. I was in too good of a mood.
Yeah I shouldn’t have spoken to soon. On the drive to work my mom got me upset. She hit me up about the fact that he had a daughter and that the ex-wife would always think she came first. If he started doing good, she’d take him back for more money. If he got a new car, she’d take him back for more money because she needed a new car. On and on and on. It dawned on me right then, my mom wasn’t “sick”, she just didn’t want to meet him and that was a good excuse.
This was all coming from the person who wanted me to move on, date other people, 5 1/2 years was too long to spend on someone who wasn’t going to make more of a commitment. She and I have had our little squables all through life about stuff like this. I know she only wants whats best for me but this guy was different. Besides, maybe we’d be doing better because of ME and MY job and the ex can’t come after MY money.
Just when I think things are getting better, they always go another direction. But he and I weren’t even dating, we had been on a few dates, we’d hung out together but that didn’t mean we were getting married tomorrow. sheesh!
I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me and took off for my bed where the phone was laying. I saw the number and couldn’t help but grin to myself, “Hello?”
-Hey there, I was just driving down the road and couldn’t stop thinking about you.
-Yeah I just got out of the shower, can you hold on while I dry off real fast and put my clothes on?
Ha I was so giddy. I couldn’t help myself. You seriously hear stories of guys who say they’ll call and they don’t or the rule of not calling for so many days, or just a number of things, but boy this one was different.
-Ok Thanks, I’m back now, not dripping water all over the floor!
-No problem. I was just sitting here and wanted to hear your voice so I thought I’d give you a holler.
-Where are you?
-Somewhere on 60. At this point it all pretty much looks the same.
-I’m sorry you got out of here so late, that’ll have you driving late.
-I’m not sorry, I’m happy and I’ve made this trip so many times, I could make it in my sleep.
-Yeah don’t do that, you tried that once and it almost didn’t end so good for ya, please keep your eyes open at all times!
-Don’t worry I plan on it.
So we continued along talking until his dad started calling him to check on him. He said he’d better answer or his dad would think something bad had happened. I hung up the phone and I swear my small break down was over and all I could do was grin!
Of course the next day at work all the girls wanted to know how the date went. I was like it was great and with the grin they started laughing at me.
That next week was a lot of time spent talking through gtalk, texts and phone calls. He finally asked me again if I planned on coming to his sisters house on Saturday night for the party or not. I figured sure why not.
Thursday July 30th was my 26th birthday. A group of my friends, my parents and I went out to celebrate my birthday. On our way to town to eat dinner we kept texting each other. In fact he’d called me first thing that morning to be the first one to say Happy Birthday. My friend Jason beat him to it with a text at 12:40ish. But he was second. While at dinner I left my phone in my pocket on vibrate but after dinner headed back home the texting resumed. He wanted to know how my day went and where we ate dinner. What I had for dinner and how it was. Just anything and everything. Then he asked me if I liked Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yup, completely random.
Friday he used some vacation time and wound up coming home early. I had gone to town after work with my parents to have dinner at about 7:30-8ish and as we were headed home I got a text from him saying that he was in town and that he was going to his sisters house. If I wanted to come over tonight, there were a bunch of them just hanging around outside and to head over.
I went :).
I pulled into her driveway and he came to greet me at my car. Good thing because I didn’t really want to walk up to a bunch of strangers alone!
I was re-introduced to his mother, met his sister and her husband and then a bunch of people I’m still not sure if I know who they are to this day. Then, I met his daughter. She didn’t say much to me and ran off with the other kids but it made it all so real. I’ll admit it was kind of a little scary to me. It made it all real that he had a daughter, not that I didn’t believe him but still. I’ve never felt like I was “old” enough for a kid.
Anyway as the night progressed along I became a little more at ease with everything (new people and the fact he had a daughter) and I relaxed. I finally sat down next to his mother and his dog came and plopped down in my lap. She found a home for a good portion of the night.
Now I forgot to mention this part, when I got there that night my phone was on the verge of dying. I tried to plug it into my car charger but it wouldn’t accept it and charge so I went into his sisters house and plugged it into her computer to get some charge on it. A couple hours after I did that I was afraid I’d leave my phone there or something would happen to it (all the kids were in the house playing and I just didn’t want it broken) so I ran inside to grab my phone.
The kids had glow sticks out and were playing with them like light sabers. I walked into the living room and 2 little boys attacked me from either side with the saber. I played along and screamed and said, don’t hurt me! And I’ll never forget his daughter looked at the 2 little boys and said, “Don’t touch her, that might be my daddy’s new girlfriend.”
Wow that was a shocker! Me, I was still gunshy at this point and told him I didn’t want any kind of commitment or anything. I just wanted time to heal but that I loved being around him so we’d just go that route and see what progressively happened. He said he understood and to take my time. He was ok with that and then this happened. I was speechless.
I walked back outside leaned against a truck. He walked over to me and slid right in next to me and said, what’s up? I looked at him, grinned and said, would you like to hear what your daughter said? He looked at me with an Oh, Crap look on his face and said, um….. okay. I told him and I thought he was looking for a hole to go crawl in. I laughed and said, nah it’s okay, she’s fine! He apologized profusely and I told him to forget about it.
I finally went home around midnight or 1am. It was getting late and I was tired. He asked if I was still planning on coming to the party the next day and I said absolutely.
To be continued 🙂
See I give you short spells, I don’t want you to get bored reading it all at once 🙂
I knocked on the door and was greeted by the cutest little Boston Terrier bouncing off the screen door. Then I heard his voice holler at me, “Come on in. You’re Early.”
“Yeah but I didn’t speed.” I still don’t think
“I’m almost ready. I didn’t expect you that soon. I figured I had more time.”
“Well we have to drive to Springtown.”
“Where?”
“That’s what we always called it in college. Anyway it takes an hour.”
“Um… it takes about 45 minutes from here….”
“No it doesn’t.”
Yes that continued on for a while. So when he was finished getting ready I had to razz him about a girl being early and ready to go before a guy. Then we went and got in my car.
Talk about nervous. And when I get nervous, I have a tendency to ramble. I will talk about anything and everything and sometimes it’s nonsense. I think I proceeded to talk about the CD playing in my car. I know lame right… So then I started talking about the photos that a friend of mine and I took earlier that spring. We thought it would be fun to be “models” so we started taking photos and posing for pictures. I had him pull out my laptop from the back seat and told him to open up the folder and look.
Another advantage to me driving is I knew my way around town. And he was right, we made it in 45 minutes. So we had lots of time to kill so I proceeded to drive him around town and show him all the places I lived and the ever popular “art” in this person’s yard. It is a meat cleaver carved in the top of a tree.
It finally got time to head to the south end of town where the restaurant was and again, knowing my way, I made it in excellent time. I pulled into the parking lot and sat there and texted my friends wondering where they were. They were about 15 minutes behind us. Once they finally pulled into the parking lot and parked, we all got out and the introductions started. Kalem & Evelyn were excited to meet this guy I wouldn’t shut up about. Jason was fine either way, Josh, didn’t care to meet this guy at all. We proceeded into the restaurant and met up with the rest of the group.
The waitress came around asking what we wanted to drink and who was on whose tab. We’d never talked about if he was buying mine or not and I was prepared to buy my own when he spoke up and said I was on his ticket. Ok no pressure on my part. I think that actually made me even more nervous. To me that made it an official date. I guess I really thought this was just 2 friends meeting up to reminisce about old times… and now I was on my first date in forever. Dinner went great!
At the end of Dinner Evelyn said we needed to go to the mall. Debs was having a sale on dresses. I grinned and Kalem goes, oh she wouldn’t make him go with all of us. I grinned right back and said,” Oh really?” Then I looked at him and asked if it would be ok? He said that’s fine and Kalem rolled his eyes. It was official we were headed to the mall, shopping. The J’s, Kalem & Evelyn got in Jason’s car and we got back in mine and off to the mall we went.
Once at the mall he struck up a conversation about electronics or computers or something with Kalem & Jason. Cha-ching, that’s the in key right there… know about technology 🙂 with those guys anyway. After we made our purchases at Deb off to Dillards we went. Evelyn had a dress there she wanted to find and purchase for a cruise. Josh’s foot was hurting him so he lagged behind, but he lagged behind for more reasons than that.
After we made all the purchases at the mall we could we parted ways and the two of us headed to my friends Jamie & Brian’s so they could meet him too. Yes all my friends wanted to meet the guy I wouldn’t shut up about. We were there until around midnight when we finally decided we needed to head home.
We made it home in great time. When we got there, his mom was home from work. We sat in my car and chatted for at least an hour.
So now it is 2am and I’m still at his house. I was getting tired but at the same time got my second wind. We got out of my car to say good night. It was so awkward. There was this funny tension between us, you know the end of a date, do you say nice knowing you and leave? Well this has been fun, I’ll call you, we should do it again sometime… what? or do you kiss or hug or walk away… I hate the awkwardness. Especially since I hadn’t been there in ages.
So instead of ending it, we prolonged the inevitable and continued to talk. Go figure… LOL. At about 3am I realized I was exhausted and I really did need to go home and go to sleep. I proceeded to try and leave again. This time I was a little more serious. Plus that late in the night or that early in the morning, however you look at it, I was COLD! So that brought us closer together. He said he had extra body heat so we proceeded to hug. Hey, he kept me warm, I didn’t care! 🙂
Ok must go home, back to the awkwardness!
How will this evening end?
Guess you’ll have to come back again to find out 🙂 I know I’m mean but to be continued.
Yes the message was from none other than the boy from years ago. The boy who brought back flooding memories…
Him: Long time no see!! How’ve you been??
me: Definitely. Just working, How about yourself?
Him: SAME working in KY right now for the government!! Fun Fun
Where you at now??
me: Wow Kentucky… that’s nuts… oh for now I’m back home with my parents working… in this economy it looks like We are lucky to have jobs. So Married? Kids?
Him: I am divorced with a 6 yo daughter!! You?
Sudden heart sinking in my chest. A bit of hurt or something, I’m not sure the emotion that came over me. I always said I never wanted to be with a guy who had been married or one who had kids. But wait, me, thinking of being with another guy, out of the relationship I just got out of… was I nuts? Was I losing my mind? I think so… Hell this guy never even said he liked me… we just talked through facebook for the first time in 10 years. I know what my problem is… Sleep deprevation is taking it’s toll on me. I NEED SLEEP!!!!!
But I continued on:
me: nope to both. Been dating a guy for 5 1/2 years but that’s on the verge of falling through.
Him: well that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that!! I hope everything works out okay!! Do you have MSN Messenger, it would be easier!!
me: Nope, and I’m not even sitting at a computer… I’m watching off the phone internet… LOL
Him: LOL I see!!
me: Although I was actually on a comp earlier when I found you. Gotta love modern Technology.
Him: LOL I was on my phone when I got the first message from facebook… LOL
That must be when my exhaustion took over and I fell asleep.
It was so weird waking up that next morning (Monday). Of all days of the week I usually dread Monday’s the worst but for once even though things had turned sour, I woke up with a different outlook on life. I’m not sure what the different outlook was, maybe it was the fact that there was life after all… who knows.
And the most amazing part, I actually went to work dressed for work, in matching clothes and got compliments on how I was dressed. That right there is super exciting. I’m pretty sure the previous week I looked like a total train wreck.
In the previous relationship I had made a comment one time that if nothing happened at 5 years to the day (at least a ring) I was walking. My mom always said that I probably wouldn’t do it and unfortunately she was right. I didn’t walk like I had threatened. But I will give myself credit, I did eventually walk. It just took another 6 months to find my feet to do it.
But here was my biggest fear: Who wants an almost 26 year old who’s been in a relationship for 5 1/2 years? Most all the good ones are taken and if they aren’t… why? I actually had a past guy friend tell me that if a girl wasn’t married by the time she was 25, there was something wrong with her. That always stuck in my head. Now I’m that girl so what is wrong with me? Am I the problem?
That morning I realized I had fallen asleep on him last night and that I should probably respond or he might think I lost interest in being friends or something. Who knows. So at 9am I picked my phone up and sent him a message… surely he’s either at work or still asleep and I won’t bug him so I figured it might open up the line of communication for later that night. That way the ball was in his court:
me: That’s Awesome
Boy I sure hope he knows what I”m talking about… his previous message, otherwise he’s going to think I’m a complete airhead or something… well whatever………
me: (one minute later): Oh so how did you wind up in KY?
Him: I joined the army when I was 19 served 2 years at Ft. Campbell Met a few people then when I got out I went back home for a few years then I was offered a job down here. Been working here ever since!! Well not exactly here LOL I deployed to Afghanistan as a DoD contractor for a year!! That was fun LOL!!! NOT!!!
me: Wow! Well you deserve many thanks then for defending our country!
Him: I appreciate that! We should have a drink sometime when I’m home!! catch up!!
me: Sounds good… and you know, you really should put a picture up on your page… LOL
I wanted to see how he’d changed! Who doesn’t want to know what who they are talking to looks like??!!
Him: Lol yeah I know I’m on myspace if you want to check it out!!
me: I don’t usually play there but I’ll have to check it out =)
me: Yeah so I tried that and it said that you were a 40 y/o in Sacramento CA… wow when did you age so much?
Him: Lol I mean I have gotten older LOL and I show my age LOL but I’m much wiser now LOL
Him: It’s kind of funny a few weeks ago when I was home visiting I found some old pics of you and me and Taria in Florida!! What a time that was LOL
So from Thursday to Sunday, there really wasn’t anything new that had happened. Still fighting through text messages and on the phone with very very very little phone contact. I went out to dinners with my parents and hung out with my dad all day Saturday and Sunday helping with odds and ends around the house. Saturday night I wound up going to the movies with Kalem & Evelyn just to get out of the house. I needed to. I was going nuts. Oddly enough, I’m not sure I spent that much time there in one sitting. Sunday morning felt weird b/c I didn’t jump out of bed, get dressed and head to his house or his church or anywhere for that matter. I got up from what little sleep I had and watched Friends re-runs and then went downstairs and watched some movie with my parents.
Life sure did seem strange but hey I guess that’s what happens from time to time. You learn to deal with it or else you don’t but I was, slowly but surely and truthfully it had only been what, right at a week so truthfully there isn’t a whole lot of time there, right?
Later that afternoon Kalem & Evelyn said they were going to the J’s house (Jason & Josh, easier to say the J’s) to watch Anime and eat dinner. I’m not super crazy about anime but hey I thought it was another excuse to leave the house so I told them I’d meet them there.
So you remember that awesome post about buying a laptop? It is getting ready to come into play. I hope you read up if you didn’t read the initial post 🙂
Since the J’s live in town and have awesome internet, I thought hey, why not go steal their wi-fi. It beats the dial-up internet at my parents house, that’s for sure! At home I wasn’t used to the fast internet so I had to take the baby out for a spin and see what she could do…
One of my addictions at the time was facebook. I loved it, I cherished it, I called it pet names, ok not really but I was addicted. I checked it multiple times a day (my Pantec Duo had internet) to see pictures and status updates and anything and everything there was to see about my friends. So that night I got on facebook. There was a section there where it suggested friends that you should be friends with. Well it has/had a place where you could look up collegues and old class mates. I like to know where my old classmates have gone and what they’re doing with their lives now so I thought, I’ll go through and see who they show that I might not already be friends with… I started flipping through the pages reading the names, questioning who some of them were same town, different state…. not my school.
And that’s when I saw a name that hit me odd. It was a name of a guy I had known since 7th grade. (our town had 6 grade schools and one Junior high so we all met in 7th grade) A guy that sang with me in Animal Science class when Ms. Rush pissed me off. A guy who conned me into carrying his sousaphone to and from parades and field shows because all I had to do was carry my clarinet, a guy who conned me into tying his shoes b/c he had to carry a sousaphone, a guy who I kept awake in English class, a guy who sang a song to me at Disney World in Florida that I fell in love with (Tonic, If You Could Only See), a guy who I had a crush on, a guy who my friend had a crush on, a guy who I drifted away from, a guy who I thought dropped out of high school and for all I knew fell off the face of the earth, a guy that the sheer sight of his name brought back lots of memories and feelings.
(good run on sentence huh?)
But just like up above, there were names of people that went to other schools in other towns with the same name as our town. I truly figured it was my imagination that was playing jokes on me. I truthfully didn’t believe it was him. No way could it be, or could it?
So I did the next logical thing. I hit the button that says, Friend Request. I figured, no harm, no foul. I’ll just see. In fact there are a lot of people on fb that I never have contact with except every once in a great while. I thought, well he may accept and at least I’ll find out if it is him, right?
June 28, 2009 was the change in my life I never saw coming. I went home that night still thinking about that name, wondering if he’d hit accept or not.
I was again on nights of no sleeping or finally falling asleep due to sheer exhaustion. I laid down and tossed and turned and tossed somemore. In college I heard that if you could stress your eyes out just a bit it would help you go to sleep, ie stare at a computer screen, tv, phone, something bright in the darkness so I picked up my phone and thought, well I’ll just check facebook. Maybe that’ll help me fall asleep. And there it was a notification that he had accepted my friend request. And wait, what’s that, there’s a message in my inbox, it was from………
So 1 year ago today I came to work a walking zombie. I went almost an entire night without sleep. Why you may ask (especially for someone who LOVES sleep…)…? Because damage had been done in a relationship. A relationship I had put 5 1/2 years of my life into. Now that’s a lot of time, I don’t care who you are. A mis-understanding, mis-communication and a lot of gossiping behind my back and what did I get, 5 1/2 years of my life down the drain…
OR SO I THOUGHT!!!
Ok so think about it, I was only 25, one month away from my 26th birthday. That’s not real old but it’s not real young either depending on how you look at it. Now if you are a 50 year old, yeah 25 seems like a young whipper snapper, if you are 10, 25 seems old. It’s just point of view. So keep this in mind!
When I graduated high school, I thought my parents were going to have to force me out of the house to go to college. I was so wishy washy on where I wanted to go and at that time I was dating a guy and he was younger so it was difficult. I wound up going an hour from home to college. Far enough away I had to live in the dorms, but close enough I could come home on weekends. That relationship dispersed and I made it through with time but had decided that “Boys Suck” so I wasn’t going to deal with them.
My parents ALWAYS supported my decision in anything I wanted to do and anywhere I wanted to go. At one time I thought I wanted to live in New York City. I grew up on a farm in rural Missouri and I thought it would be something different and fun and exciting. I eventually talked myself out of it but had I gone through with it, they’d have backed me 100%. Then further in college I thought well I’ll go be an Ag. Teacher in Texas. At that time there was a position opened in Ft. Worth, one city I love. I eventually decided against that as well. It really didn’t suit me either. So basically what you can see is I was wishy washy. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. In fact I’m still not 100% sure… To me, those who don’t dream, they just rot away!
Well while I was off at college doing who knows what, a lot of the people I went to high school with went to college around here. They got married, had kids, got jobs, whatever so I eventually graduated college and moved home for a while to decide what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and they all had moved on without me. I couldn’t just call them up and on spur of the moment notice go to the movies or mini golf or wherever. They had families so I was young and didn’t. And my college friends were all from Kansas City, St. Louis, other states, wherever, not here though. Now I should mention I had the guy I was dating so I spent a lot of time with him because well, what else was there to do?
When I was 3 years old I promised my dad that I would graduate college before I got married because he was afraid if I didn’t, I might not so when I met this guy that’s what I told him, I’m not getting married until after I graduate college. Ok so I graduated in 2005 and last year was 2009. I’m not going into details (they aren’t important) but use your imagination… (hint: no ring yet).
So a rumor got spread that I was “cheating” on this guy. I wasn’t! But I wasn’t even given the option to defend myself. It all hit the fan the night of Father’s Day so 1 year ago today, I came to work like a zombie. I was so tired but I was beating myself up over a stupid rumor to the point that I couldn’t sleep the night before but I was also so upset and so hurt I wasn’t even given the option to get the story straight. 5 1/2 years and I wasn’t allowed the option to set the story right. What does that tell ya?…..
