So 1 year ago today I came to work a walking zombie. I went almost an entire night without sleep. Why you may ask (especially for someone who LOVES sleep…)…? Because damage had been done in a relationship. A relationship I had put 5 1/2 years of my life into. Now that’s a lot of time, I don’t care who you are. A mis-understanding, mis-communication and a lot of gossiping behind my back and what did I get, 5 1/2 years of my life down the drain…
When I graduated high school, I thought my parents were going to have to force me out of the house to go to college. I was so wishy washy on where I wanted to go and at that time I was dating a guy and he was younger so it was difficult. I wound up going an hour from home to college. Far enough away I had to live in the dorms, but close enough I could come home on weekends. That relationship dispersed and I made it through with time but had decided that “Boys Suck” so I wasn’t going to deal with them.
My parents ALWAYS supported my decision in anything I wanted to do and anywhere I wanted to go. At one time I thought I wanted to live in New York City. I grew up on a farm in rural Missouri and I thought it would be something different and fun and exciting. I eventually talked myself out of it but had I gone through with it, they’d have backed me 100%. Then further in college I thought well I’ll go be an Ag. Teacher in Texas. At that time there was a position opened in Ft. Worth, one city I love. I eventually decided against that as well. It really didn’t suit me either. So basically what you can see is I was wishy washy. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. In fact I’m still not 100% sure… To me, those who don’t dream, they just rot away!
Well while I was off at college doing who knows what, a lot of the people I went to high school with went to college around here. They got married, had kids, got jobs, whatever so I eventually graduated college and moved home for a while to decide what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and they all had moved on without me. I couldn’t just call them up and on spur of the moment notice go to the movies or mini golf or wherever. They had families so I was young and didn’t. And my college friends were all from Kansas City, St. Louis, other states, wherever, not here though. Now I should mention I had the guy I was dating so I spent a lot of time with him because well, what else was there to do?
When I was 3 years old I promised my dad that I would graduate college before I got married because he was afraid if I didn’t, I might not so when I met this guy that’s what I told him, I’m not getting married until after I graduate college. Ok so I graduated in 2005 and last year was 2009. I’m not going into details (they aren’t important) but use your imagination… (hint: no ring yet).
So a rumor got spread that I was “cheating” on this guy. I wasn’t! But I wasn’t even given the option to defend myself. It all hit the fan the night of Father’s Day so 1 year ago today, I came to work like a zombie. I was so tired but I was beating myself up over a stupid rumor to the point that I couldn’t sleep the night before but I was also so upset and so hurt I wasn’t even given the option to get the story straight. 5 1/2 years and I wasn’t allowed the option to set the story right. What does that tell ya?…..
To be continued…….