Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.
I’m Sorry. So Sorry. sang in the most ridiculous voice you can imagine. That’s all that is going through my head right this minute.
I’m sorry that somehow I managed to get into poison ivy. Trust me, it is no treat for me either. It started on my hand and then somehow moved to my stomach and now has moved to you. Oy! I wish that all the poison ivy would just go to hell and leave us all alone. Especially because I never had poison ivy until last year. I’m sorry the first night you wound up with the PI that I dug so hard it hurt. I really didn’t realize I did that until I looked down. Usually I swear I don’t scratch that hard. I hope that the PI goes away and you’ll heal up and look just as lovely as you looked prior to the PI taking over the calf. OY! Have I said that yet? Yeah, ok. well I’m not sure where the PI came from but I’m soooo sorry. The hand finally healed so next it should be your turn, right? I’m going to stop thinking about you now so hopefully you’ll quit itching.