One Year Ago…. cont'd

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So 1 year ago today I came to work a walking zombie. I went almost an entire night without sleep. Why you may ask (especially for someone who LOVES sleep…)…? Because damage had been done in a relationship. A relationship I had put 5 1/2 years of my life into. Now that’s a lot of time, I don’t care who you are. A mis-understanding, mis-communication and a lot of gossiping behind my back and what did I get, 5 1/2 years of my life down the drain…

OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

Ok so think about it, I was only 25, one month away from my 26th birthday. That’s not real old but it’s not real young either depending on how you look at it. Now if you are a 50 year old, yeah 25 seems like a young whipper snapper, if you are 10, 25 seems old. It’s just point of view. So keep this in mind!

When I graduated high school, I thought my parents were going to have to force me out of the house to go to college. I was so wishy washy on where I wanted to go and at that time I was dating a guy and he was younger so it was difficult. I wound up going an hour from home to college. Far enough away I had to live in the dorms, but close enough I could come home on weekends. That relationship dispersed and I made it through with time but had decided that “Boys Suck” so I wasn’t going to deal with them.

My parents ALWAYS supported my decision in anything I wanted to do and anywhere I wanted to go. At one time I thought I wanted to live in New York City. I grew up on a farm in rural Missouri and I thought it would be something different and fun and exciting. I eventually talked myself out of it but had I gone through with it, they’d have backed me 100%. Then further in college I thought well I’ll go be an Ag. Teacher in Texas. At that time there was a position opened in Ft. Worth, one city I love. I eventually decided against that as well. It really didn’t suit me either. So basically what you can see is I was wishy washy. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. In fact I’m still not 100% sure… To me, those who don’t dream, they just rot away!

Well while I was off at college doing who knows what, a lot of the people I went to high school with went to college around here. They got married, had kids, got jobs, whatever so I eventually graduated college and moved home for a while to decide what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go and they all had moved on without me. I couldn’t just call them up and on spur of the moment notice go to the movies or mini golf or wherever. They had families so I was young and didn’t. And my college friends were all from Kansas City, St. Louis, other states, wherever, not here though. Now I should mention I had the guy I was dating so I spent a lot of time with him because well, what else was there to do?

When I was 3 years old I promised my dad that I would graduate college before I got married because he was afraid if I didn’t, I might not so when I met this guy that’s what I told him, I’m not getting married until after I graduate college. Ok so I graduated in 2005 and last year was 2009. I’m not going into details (they aren’t important) but use your imagination… (hint: no ring yet).

So a rumor got spread that I was “cheating” on this guy. I wasn’t! But I wasn’t even given the option to defend myself. It all hit the fan the night of Father’s Day so 1 year ago today, I came to work like a zombie. I was so tired but I was beating myself up over a stupid rumor to the point that I couldn’t sleep the night before but I was also so upset and so hurt I wasn’t even given the option to get the story straight. 5 1/2 years and I wasn’t allowed the option to set the story right. What does that tell ya?…..

To be continued…….

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