I heard that sound of the motorcycle go off. I dreaded that sound. I wasn’t sure why that sound was going off. I still had the ex’s number in my cell phone, I still had a certain ringtone set to it so I’d know if it was him trying to call me. It had basically been just shy of 2 months since we’d talked other than I got a text on my birthday saying Happy Birthday. Crap, I’ve been having such a good go at things, I didn’t want to be in a bad mood. It was already late, I didn’t want to get into a fight on the phone. I didn’t want to talk to him really… To answer, not to answer, what do I do??? I finally decided it was 11:30 and I had to get up early. I refused to answer the phone.
Eventually it quit ringing. Well Crap, now I’m going to lie awake wondering what he wanted, right? Wrong, I think I stayed up a couple more minutes to see if he left me a voicemail… if it was important he’d leave me a voicemail or send me a text message, otherwise, it didn’t matter. And I drifted off into dreamland.
I would be lying if I wasn’t kind of curious why he called me, especially so late… he used to know I liked to be in bed and asleep by this time, but for the first time in months it didn’t bother me. I didn’t feel guilty. Had there been a voicemail I would have listened to it but otherwise, I didn’t care. I didn’t feel like I owed him anything. I was told in college after breaking up with a guy after a year and 4 months that how ever long you dated them, it took you that long to get over them. I’m not going to say at this point I was over him but I’d had enough time to step back and examine the relationship we’d had over the years. Was it bad, No, was it great, no. It wasn’t great. And for the first time in a long time I could see that.
Apparently when you get into situations that you even say you wouldn’t allow to happen, if you gradually go in, you gradually become accustomed to them and you don’t know any different. Again, he didn’t treat me terrible so please don’t read that wrong, but things weren’t all that great either. It was easier to see that once you step back and look from a different perspective.
I hadn’t thought about the ex in a while. At first after everything happened, I took pictures of him down in different places but I still had some up. The more I grew closer to this guy from my past the easier it was to take pictures down. I feel those pictures that were up were a constant reminder of how things used to be, even though they weren’t ideal, we are creatures of habit. You get into rituals and habits and it is very difficult to change. The change is the unknown aspect of anything and you don’t always know how to react to it. It is scary, sometimes dangerous, sometimes wonderful, but it’s that unknown that scare people into sometimes not wanting to experience what is in store for them.
I am the first to admit, I hate change. It scares the living daylights out of me. But for the first time I turned that fear over to God (just know I’m not putting my beliefs off on you, this is how I feel), I knew he had a great plan and something wonderful in store.
This wonderful guy from my past just “randomly” comes back into my life when I needed someone the most. He took his time with me and never pressured me into a relationship of any sorts that I wasn’t ready for. He made special trips home to see me and loved to talk to me on the phone. To me, this is a life out of a movie or a fairytale. This doesn’t happen in real life… does it?
For the first time, other than being a little curious what the ex wanted, I was at peace and I fell right asleep. You know, until that annoying alarm clock started going off at 5:45am to wake me up so I could get dressed and head to his mom’s house.
I have never been a morning person but sometimes if you are excited about something you can’t help but jump out of bed. This morning was one of those mornings. I finally was going to Silver Dollar City. I hadn’t been there since I was about 12 years old. How great and exciting was this!!! I jumped out of bed, threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, put my hair in a ponytail and put on my Keen shoes (great water shoes btw). I was headed to SDC baby! I let myself out the door and locked it behind me, jumped in my car and away I went. I was at his house about 15 minutes later. His mom was up helping get his daughter ready, we all grabbed stuff, threw it in his truck and headed down the road to get his sister.
I was so excited I think I could have run there, until I ran out of breath :).
When we got to his sister’s house they all came out and piled into the truck. His sister asked if we could stop at Bass Pro because she’d promised her son she’d buy him a fish pillow for his room. We agreed so we were off.
Once we got to Bass Pro and his nephew got his (not 1 but) 2 fish pillows and his daughter got a dolphin pillow we were Branson bound!! We pulled in to Silver Dollar City, parked, jumped on the car ride and went to the gates.
(**now here’s a part I shouldn’t tell on myself, again**)
A co-worker had season passes to get in as did his daughter. Along with season passes 4 times a year you get passes to get guests in at ridiculously low prices. So the co-worker gave me her season pass and the passes to get the other tickets. I told everyone in the truck that if asked, I didn’t have my drivers license on me and my name was my co-worker’s so of course his daughter goes running around calling me the co-workers name until we told her to keep her lips closed because we didn’t want to cause any problems.
We went up to the window, purchased the 4 tickets and went to go through the line. I put his daughter through first and then handed the co-worker’s season pass to get myself through. My co-worker told me they never asked for her ID any of the times she’d been through so I should be fine. What happens, the lady asks for my ID. I looked at her blank faced and said I left it at home. I’d never been asked for it before so I didn’t bring it for fear I’d lose it. Yeah she didn’t like my answer. So she proceeds to ask my birthday (they are on the card) and I knew it was one of 2 days so I finally blurted out one. She didn’t like my answer because I was cautious on the year as well. I was embarrassed because I was with him and his family and he started to volunteer to buy me a ticket at full price and I threw a fit at this lady. (yeah this was out of character for me, but I was embarrassed.) So she walked me over to Guest Services and proceeded to tell the lady I didn’t know my own birthday. I pulled the I’m dumb card and said I can tell you how old I am, I just don’t know what year my birthday was, so sue me. (yes I’m not this mouthy and normally I can’t tell you how old I am but I can tell you my birthday.) So the lady at Guest services asks me my address. I told her I just moved there and I didn’t know it. She asked me my phone number and I told her I just got a new number and I’m horrible with numbers, I don’t call myself. She asked where the card was purchased, ah one I did know. I told her. She asked how it was paid for. I told her I wasn’t sure but this is who bought it (the gals mother) and I didn’t know how my mother paid for it to be honest. She asked who I was there with and I told her my boyfriend and his family. Finally I was annoyed enough that I said, I have people out there waiting for me, if you won’t let me in, let me leave so I can go buy a ticket… time’s burning. (I’m embarrassed even writing this… haha) So she asked me to sign this piece of paper. Luckily I had seen my co-worker’s handwriting and I knew how to sign her signature. I did my best. The lady behind the counter said, I’m not sure how you did this but the signatures are the same. Take this paper along with your season pass and you may enter the gates, but I’m putting a dot on here that means from now on, you must have your ID present to come back in. Whew… I got in.
(***Please don’t judge me***)
I refused to go through the ladies line that started it all, although after the fact I wish I would have. I went through an older gentleman’s and he didn’t even care to see the paper I had to have. I was so shook up that I couldn’t smile. I had just made a scene in front of my new friends and I was extremely embarrassed. It didn’t seem to bother or phase them. They thought it was funny that I could sweet talk my way in the gates. To get me in a better mood they made me ride a water ride right off the bat that got us all soaked.
Through the whole day, things went well. I was extremely nervous being around the daughter all day because what if she wound up hating my guts. Would that cause him to not like me? Would I be compared to her mother? So many different thoughts ran through my head. Other than a few times where you could see some jealousy because she always had her daddy to herself, things went really well.
After a long hot day at SDC we left the park and wanted to find somewhere for dinner. Since we were all wet, we took turns holding up blankets and helping each other change clothes between the doors of the trucks and then piled in to find dinner. Eventually we agreed upon Cracker Barrel. I was surprised because the daughter wanted me to sit by her at dinner, not her daddy.
After dinner we all piled back in the truck. His brother in law, nephew and daughter fell asleep in the backseat on the way home and his sister, him and myself giggled and laughed all the way home.
Once we got to his sisters house they all piled out, then we went the mile down the road to his mother’s house. His daughter was so tired that she didn’t even wake up when he picked her up and carried her into the house. I gathered all my stuff up and threw it in my car and he walked back out to give me a kiss goodnight and tell me to drive safe. He’d call me in about 5 minutes so I’d have someone to talk to on my way home.
I backed out of his driveway and headed off into the night.
To be continued……