We Lost Her

If you remember here recently I asked for some prayers for my husband’s grandmother. At that time we weren’t sure if she’d ever leave the hospital, but she did. She pulled through and they released her. It actually got to the point she’d have good days where you knew she knew who you were and then there were days like in the hospital when she’d look at you dazed and confused.

About 6 months ago when she was in the hospital she signed a DNR. That right there was difficult for most of the family to understand, but she knew her place with God and was ready to go home when he called. She didn’t want to stay alive on machines only.

June 29, a few friends came up from Texas. Their first goal was to see Grandma W. Hubby and I ran in to town to see both Gary and Ruthie, but also Grandma W. The whole time we were there she never opened her eyes and she had very difficult shallow breathing. The nurses told the family to prepare for her to not make it through the night. She did.

Hubby’s cousin was coming down from Nebraska the next day. I’ve always heard that when people are preparing to leave this earth that there are people they are expecting/waiting to see. Once they’ve seen them, then they move on. I whole heartedly believe that.

My Grandpa was alive until I made it to Southern Oklahoma to see him. I remember driving down Father’s Day weekend 2008. I stayed with him and talked to him. He didn’t know I was there but they all said he did. My dad went down with me. My mom originally didn’t want me to see him like that because she didn’t want me to remember him like that. I told my mom, just stop me. I don’t usually speak that way, but I was going no matter what. I’m so glad I did and while I remember how he looked, that’s not how I remember him. I left around 7pm that night to make 5 1/2 hour trek back home. My mom called at 2am to say he’d passed away. I believe he was waiting to see me. And while maybe that sounds a little conceited… I still believe that with my whole heart.


How to: Make a Photo Wall

There has been a lot of uncertainty in our life in the last couple of years. Truthfully more than I even want to admit to… I know that God has great plans for everything and everything will work out in the end. I know that all the trials and tribulations help us grow into the people he wants us to develop in to. But I also know sometimes I just want to scream, pack up the bare minimum, move to a place no one knows me (far far away) and start a new life. Whew… uncertainty is very scary to say the least :). But that last part is an extreme.

So with that out of the way… If you know me at all, I take pictures of EVERYTHING. Think I’m kidding, just check my camera/phone/computer/external hard drive. No joke! For a long while I’ve wanted a photo wall, and I had one for a bit, then we took it down, and now we’re putting it back up. It goes with some of that uncertainty….

The initial photo wall was hung up with the Command Strips so that it wouldn’t put holes in the walls or do damage to the wall paper, etc… yeah that didn’t work. Sad but true. I don’t know if my sticky part of the command strips was too old or the wall paper was the wrong texture or what, but after I put them up, they came back down, some quickly (like a few days). It was extremely frustrating! So this time around there are holes in the wall. It was just easier that way…

Now here’s how to do it:

What you’ll need:
Photo frames/Photos (sizes up to you!!)
Scissors (just for cutting… ha. see below.)
Command Strips or Screws
if screws, then you need a drill
A Wall for photos

1. You’ll want to trace your photo frames on to paper. The first time around I used newspaper, this time around I used regular notebook paper, except for my 8×10 frames. Then I went into Tbug’s room and stole some used poster sized paper. Trace the size of your photo frames out onto the paper.


Letting Go

Have you ever had to let go?  Letting go is hard.  Letting go of the lost for a loved one.  Letting go of hurt feelings.  Letting go.

I truthfully wish I was one who could give advice on how to let go, but just like most people, we’re all on this learning curve.  Trying to grow and make God proud of us.  Sadly, most of us fail from time to time because we’re human.

Lately I’ve been dealing with letting go.  Letting go of the past and living in the present and dreaming of the future.  It’s better to live in the present and deal with current issues then to hang on to the past.

So here’s the thing I can tell you… God works in mysterious ways.  Everything works out in the end and eventually you’ll even learn to let go.  Just trust and have faith.  And if you don’t believe in God, have faith in who/what you do believe in.  I believe in God.  I’m putting my faith in his hands.  He knows what will happen and he’ll get me through this trying time in my life with flying colors.

I’ll come out stronger on the other side.  God will bring you to it because he’ll help see you through it.

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Let's get Uncomfortable

God grant me the serenity to
Accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

You may or may not know what that is the start of, but it is the start of the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer.  No, I’m not an alcoholic, I’ve never been to a meeting, in fact I had to google it and it goes on to more which could technically be applied to everyday life for most of us probably.

This prompt really stumped me.  Where to go with it.  What really makes me uncomfortable.  Then it came to me while hubby was talking to me.   One thing that makes me most uncomfortable is the unknown.  Right now I’m stepping into a new chapter of my life that has me quaking in my boots pretty much.  So much uncertainty.  So much trying to figure out where to go next or see what God has in store for this chapter in my life.

Sometimes it is difficult to give up the reins and let God be in control, but when you think about it, he’s always in control, so it’s best to just hold on and see where he takes you next.

When one door closes, it’s because there was something bad waiting on the other side he didn’t want you to have to deal with.  He has a better plan if you’ll just choose the door he leads you to.  And when you’re scared, just hold out your hand, let him lead you through it and always remember to give him your fears.  So, something that makes me uncomfortable is the unknown and now I”m opening my head and my heart to God and letting him lead me down this new path he wants me to experience.

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Hopefully this is reassuring

Sometimes we wonder,
‘What did I do to deserve this?’ or ‘Why did God have to do this to me?’
Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she’s failing algebra, her boyfriend
broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and
asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, ‘Absolutely Mom, I love your cake.’
‘Here, have some cooking oil,’ her Mother offers. ‘Yuck’ says her daughter..
‘How about a couple raw eggs?’ ‘Gross, Mom!’ ‘Would you like some flour then?
Or maybe baking soda?’ ‘Mom, those are all yucky!’
To which the mother replies:
‘Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the
right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way. Many times we wonder why
He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things
all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all
make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you.
He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He’ll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe,
and He chose your heart.
If you like this, send this on to the people you really care about.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

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What a Day

It doesn’t matter how your day has gone
Always go home with your head held high.

Plucked, pounded, mistreated but still with dignity.
Attitude is everything.


I have to give a presentation at work today.  Wish me luck!!

p.s. I saw this blog post today over on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website that just really hit home today.  The post title is: Either He Planned It or He Permitted It.

3 Years Ago today

Marriage is like a peanut butter & jelly sandwich… the husband and wife are the peanut butter and jelly. They’re much better together than apart. God is the bread who holds it all together. When it’s done right, it’s a simple recipe that never goes out of style
                                                                                           ~Author unknown

Marriage is hard.  It’s easy, but it’s hard.  Don’t get me wrong, sooooo totally worth it, but hard and easy, but hard.

Are you confused yet?  Don’t worry, I think I am too.  Marriage is easy if you are with the right person, to work through and push on through all of your differences, all the obstacles, all the disagreements, all the everything that life is willing to throw at you.

Three Years ago today I chose to enter into this marriage.  At 10:15am my husband asked me to be his wife.  Be his wife for the rest of our lives.  Be his wife through the good times and the bad.  But most importantly, to be his wife.

When you start dating a person, you put your best foot forward.  You go out of your way to impress.  I’m not really sure you know a person until you’ve been together for a while.

We had the advantage of being friends in high school, although a lot had changed from high school until we met back up 10 years later.  Life happened.  Education happened.  Families happened.  Hardships happened.  Joyous times happened.  Heartache happened.  Jobs happened.  Enough happened to those 2 people that they had been completely reshaped, reformed and molded into the people they were on July 25, 2009, when they met up again after 10 years for their first date.  It was almost like meeting a stranger for a first date, a date that no one could have imagined would lead to a lifetime together.

My husband tells me that the night, of that first date, he knew that he was going to marry me; I however didn’t know anything of the sort.  All I knew is I went on a first date for the first time in a little over 5 1/2 years and had a fabulous time with a stranger from my past.  Who would have known that that first kiss at 3am would be my last first kiss?

As the summer drew on and I sometimes think life sped up, we became closer talking through all means possible.  In fact, we had a long distance relationship for the first 2 months of our relationship.  In October of that year (2009) when he informed me he was quitting his job and moving home, I actually got a sick feeling in my stomach.

We had talked a few times about marriage and life together but nothing was ever set in stone.  Nothing was ever serious even.  It was just talk, like we always did.  One thing I told him though, I didn’t want to ever be proposed to on my birthday, anything to do with Christmas or New Years, Valentine’s Day, basically any of the “given” times.  Turns out, I share my proposal date with National Safety Pup Awareness Day :).

I hear some many times that people are getting married but are unsure if they’re making the right decision.  If you have doubts, DON’T DO IT!  That’s one piece of advice I have for you!  When it’s right, you’ll definitely know and there will be no doubts in your mind.

So, now is time to share the story that I have shared, every year on this day:

This had started out as a pretty crappy day, I surely didn’t know that it would eventually get better! I started doing the mail and got a phone call from Nancy at the front office that I had flowers at the front desk so I headed to the front of the building to go retrieve my flowers. (I work all the way at the back.) I passed Becky grumbling that “Prince Charming’s so in trouble.” although seriously what girl doesn’t like flowers, especially when they look like this!!

Meanwhile back at my desk my mom brought Prince Charming into the building. Tracy got her camera out and Nicole got another camera that had a recorder out. Becky was standing guard in the hallway to announce to them when I got back. Then they all dove into different hiding places.

So when I came back Becky announces really loud that I had beautiful flowers. My desk has frosted glass around it and when I walked around the corner and I could see someone on the far side of my desk but I figured it was a coworker had dropped something or since I was having such a bad day, they were going to jump out and scare me (things like that happen to me from time to time) so I didn’t really think to much of it. So I came up on my mystery guest and Prince Charming is down on one knee.

I just stared at him and he asked me “The Question” and I was rendered speechless. (yes I know, this doesn’t hardly happen at all!)

I just stared at him and it dawned on me, SPEAK Nicole :)… so of course I said yes. He said he had to pry my death grip off the rose container to set them down on my desk for me; He said he thought I’d drop the flowers and he was prepared to catch them… LOL

Then he turned around and I tackled him in a bear hug.

Of course a girl has to try on the ring 🙂

Prince Charming says this is his favorite photo.

I’m officially ENGAGED!!!! I love my Prince Charming!!!

One final note:

Over time your marriage will start to look like the marriages of the people you’re around the most, so be very wise about how you choose your friends.  Look for at least one couple who has a marriage worth imitating and then be intentional about spending more time around them.

Johnny Carino’s – Joplin, MO

Two Monday’s ago, wow that seems like a long time ago! Tbug had a school Christmas program.  First off I should mention she goes to public school now so with knowing everything about public schools and God being removed, it surprised and shocked me with the mention of Jesus Christ in some of their songs.  Way to go middle town America school districts!  I love it!

Anyway, moving on… on our way home from her school program we decided we needed to grab a bite to eat because it would be really late when we got home anyway.  Hubby decided we should go to Johnny Carino’s since we’d both been craving Italian.

On Monday nights they have half price family sized meals.  How cool is that?!?!  Half price Family sized Appetizers too.  Even better!

I also saw this… holy cow, I so need to try this sometime!


Christmas Spirit

First off, I’d like to start this post by saying:

Happy Birthday Momma!

She hate’s having photos of herself so don’t tell I put this up K?


Ever since my husband and I started dating, at Christmas time he’s mentioned to me we should go see the Living Christmas Tree at Ozark Christian College; and ever year we miss it because we don’t look for tickets soon enough.

Last week for some reason it popped into my head he’d like to go and so I jumped on line to see when the show was.  Low and behold it was Thursday of last week through Monday of this week.  Hawt Dawg just in the nick of time!

He got on line, we decided upon Monday night’s performance and away we went.

it’s grainy because it was iPhone quality without the flash.. sorry!

I’m not sure, but I’m sure the story line changes every year.  This particular one was “A Salute to Christmas”.

The show started at 7:30 so we ran by my parents house after work to help my mom put up her Christmas tree and then we jetted off to OCC.  We walked in at about 7:05 and there was 30 minutes of Pre-show entertainment.  It was hilarious.  We even learned how to make a Christmas dinner without dirtying up your kitchen, plus how to cook it on your drive to your relatives house :).  Yeah you had to be there to understand I think :).

The story took place during one of the World Wars, I believe II but they never really specified totally.  Anyway it was about trying to raise the moral of the soldiers who weren’t going to be home that year for Christmas.  It went multiple ways but ended up with teaching the story of Jesus.

And of course the whole Living Christmas Tree portion which was the real kicker to the story of Jesus and raising the “soldiers” moral.

And the whole theme of the night was Home or Going Home Again.  Wow, it was a fantastic performance.  Sadly I was really tired so by the end I was ready to go home, but it was a great show and so super glad we went!