Day 204

Day 1-203 here

Day 204 – We went on our first alone trip together.

Day 205 – We bought his wedding ring

Day 226 – We had our first family photos professionally taken

Day 251 – On a trip to Kentucky his daughter asked why I was coming with them.

Day 258 – Our engagement photos were taken

Day 260 – I was drug wedding dress shopping

Day 274 – He made it a point for me to drive to Stillwater, OK to meet Pioneer Woman

Day 266 – We got our first dog together

Day 309 – We took possession of our house

Somewhere along the way we had a terrible fight.  The worst fight to date as a couple.  A day I’ve tried to forget.  Somewhere along the way it was so bad we almost just said screw it and went our separate ways, but we didn’t.  Real love is worth fighting for and fight for it we did.  Real Love Stories Never Have Endings!

Day 323 – We attended our first wedding together as a couple

Day 344 – Our house had to be finished for the big 4th of July Partay

Day 371 – On my 27th birthday we had our first Wedding shower.

Day 385 – My wedding party teamed against me and threw a surprise shower

Day 386 – We had a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

Day 406 – Was the last day as single people

Why do I blog?

if you know where I found this, please let me know so I can credit it!

I would be lying if I said that sometimes I feel down, I guess you could say when I don’t get many comments.  I know it is stupid and I shouldn’t be writing for the comments, but sometimes I love the feedback.  The comments bring a smile to my face.  And I love when I can email the person back and tell them a little more about something (ie the bed) or I can say thank you (pretty much a lot of of them), I love to impart wisdom (haha),   Sometimes I actually like to impart actual wisdom (like nutrition class stuff) and of course funny stories are great (there’s a restaurant, or the infamous farting photo) sometimes I vent (like about my car speaker), and we all know I obviously love to cook (duh look here), etc.

I’m real.  I’m honest.  I’m me.

I read blogs and I see they have big numbers of followers and sometimes I feel down on my blog.  I wonder what I can do to get increased numbers.  I wonder what I can do to make people want to read what I write about.  I know I follow more blogs than the number who actually follow me and I definitely comment on more than comment on mine.  Then I wonder, why?  What am I doing wrong?

Then I think about 2 things… the loyal fan base (haha does that make you groupies?) I do have and I ask myself why do you write anyway?

I write some of this to remember things.  I write some because, well it’s funny.  I write some because I have an aunt who reads.  I write because I have a heavy heart.  I write because I have exciting news.  I write some of it because I just love to write.

I wish I could say I was like a lot of you and I got the reading bug when I was younger, but it didn’t really hit me until the first summer out of college (2005).  Yeah I have a lot of catching up to do with you guys!  Janet Evanovich and the Stephanie Plum series is what did it for me.  I’ve been hooked since!

But I have always loved to write.  I’ve had numerous journals, tried to write short stories and even took a short story writing class in college.  If you were to ask me what I truly want to be… my answer would be an author.  I want to write books.  I just haven’t quite figured out how to get there… yet.  But remember my quote I stumbled across a while back (found here)

“If it is possible I will do it .  If it is impossible, it will take me a little longer.”

I truthfully believe that quote.

In fact, I went to college the first time with the pursuit of an Agriculture Journalist degree, but then immediately changed to Agriculture Education because I figured I’d have a wider background in more areas.  But I did take the Ag. Journalist class in college.

See Writing is my passion I guess.  So some days I get down about few or even no comments, but I remember I do have my loyal readers and someday… someday I’ll be big… and you can all say you knew me when I was whining about no comments… LOL 🙂

I sincerely want to say Thank you!  I love you all 🙂  Now I’ll quite whining and no I don’t want any cheese with my whine!

**via**

Day 1

Day 1 – We agreed to go on a date

Day 2 – We had our first kiss and a long kiss good bye

Day 7 – I met his daughter and she called me his girlfriend

Day 9 – He met a lot of my family

Day 15 – I made him a blanket

Day 22 – His daughter came to meet my parents

Day 42 – He sent me flowers

Day 49 – His grandma passed away

Day 69 – He moved home for good

Day 113 – We had our first major fight

Day 120 – I had my first encounter with his ex

Day 126 – We shared our first trip together.

Day 140 – We headed to Ft. Worth for the first of many times.

Day 160 – We spent our first New Years together.

Day 167 – His dad introduced us to the nurse in the hospital as engaged.

Day 203 – He popped the question and I said yes.

This song hits the nail on the head!

Some of you may remember back to this post I wrote to my {step}daughter on my wedding day.

I was driving to lunch yesterday and the song by Darius Rucker came on, “It won’t be like this for long.”  That song hits me on so many levels.  The first time I heard the song was late 2008, driving down the road, I believe I was in the truck with my parents, and yes I had tears running down my eyes.

I saw my dad/parents in the guys shoes… and me as the daughter.

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day we’ll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

My first day of Kindergarden they tell me my dad had a hard time… I didn’t want him to take me to school, I was going to ride the bus with the “big kids”.  By 2nd grade I had to change schools and I almost cried when he just wanted to drop me off and wouldn’t walk me into the school.  He didn’t ever get out of walking me into the school building again until late late grade school or junior high.

Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She’s crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She’s clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don’t you worry
This’ll only last a week or two

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you’ll drop her off
And she won’t even know you’re gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

As a teenager, I guess I got along fairly well with my parents.  Not to many fights broke loose at our house until my senior year when I was freaking out about going on to college.  College seemed like 2nd grade all over again, new school, bigger school, new town, dorms, so much to change, I was freaked out!  In fact toward the latter part of my senior year all hell broke loose at our house a few times when I missed deadlines for college applications, scholarships, etc, or trying to make sure I didn’t miss deadlines.

A lot had happened to my family during my high school years and I was just extremely nervous to move on.  I wasn’t ready.  High school was good to me and college scared the crap out of me.

Some day soon she’ll be a teenager
And at times he’ll think she hates him

But we made it through high school, the teenage years and even college too :).  I was out of college for 3 years by the time I’d heard this song and at that time in life I wasn’t in a good place… I was in a relationship that wasn’t the best but I hoped would get better and as we all know it didn’t.  But the best thing happened, I got into a great relationship, one that my parents loved the guy and the guy treats me awesome and I went on to get married and while I was at it became a {step}mom to a great girl.

Then he’ll walk her down the aisle
And he’ll raise her veil
But right now she’s up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don’t mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he’s tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long

Every time I hear this song I break down in tears thinking of my dad (& mom too).

But

I was driving to lunch yesterday and I heard this song come on the radio and a different scenario popped into my head for the first time and of course the silly song proceeded to bring tears down my eyes again.

I may not have given birth to Tbug, but she is very much mine.  A couple weekends ago when we bought her new boots and then went to go ride horses at my parents, she went to put her spurs on her new boots and they wouldn’t fit.  I told her to bring them with us and I’d figure something out when we got to mom & dad’s house.  I went in the house and grabbed a pair of my old spurs, pulled my old straps off of them and put her straps on my old spurs and they fit.

We put them on her boots and I asked hubs what to do with her old spurs and he told me to put them in the truck, we may need them again someday and silly me as I was walking to the truck with her “kid” spurs in my hands I started tearing up.  He grinned at me and I told him to shut up and walked on.  But even days that we have to take her back to her mom, driving down the road my silly eyes well up with tears.  I miss that I wasn’t there for her birth, her first steps, words (although sometimes I wish she didn’t know how to talk), etc… but I’m here now.

I still remember that she told her dad she didn’t want an evil step mom so she didn’t want him to re-marry for that reason, but he married me and I hope she never thinks of me that way, but I can’t help but admit that I’m afraid someday she’ll hate my guts.  When that time comes it’ll break my heart!

So I’m sorry this was a really long post today and a very deep but this is how I feel and some of the things I’ve been dealing with lately.

So I’ll leave you with this song 🙂

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5zCaRaJ-kE]

PCC

Get caught up here:
Post 1 – Friday night
Post 2 – Saturday
Post 3 – Saturday

Post 4 – Sunday
Post 5 – Sunday  
Post 6 – Sunday

**This is extremely picture heavy and long.  I’m sorry, I was just trying not to have to break it out as much…**

Monday was a LONG day.

We boarded the bus at around 7:30 in the morning and didn’t get back to our hotel room until about 11:30 pm.  I hate to say it but the driver of the bus drove me nuts with his bad grammar and his constant snorting and swallowing INTO the microphone which was turned up way loud.  I think I found my Tourettes I didn’t know I had… lol j/k… I think.

Being the last “official” day of summer as people refer to Labor Day as the roads were busy swamped with people trying to get to the beach.  Our tour was through the Polynesian Culture Center who I learned was owned by BYU – Hawaii or at least all the BYU students worked there to help with tuition to attend BYU – Hawaii.

We started our day with a tour of Hawaii and were supposed to get back to the Culture center around noonish but because of traffic didn’t get there until just a bit after 2.

(more…)

Becoming the Woman of his Dreams

April 13, 2010, I had my atm Fiance answer these questions.  Then asked him if on our 1 year anniversary if he’d answer them again.  Well, we’ve hit the 1 year Mark as of Sunday so it is his turn to blog again and answer these questions.

~How would you describe the woman of your dreams?
Most Simply… YOU!!!!!

~What do you wish your wife understood about you and your longings?
I wish my wife understood how much I truly love her! I wish she understood that I could not make it one day without her! And I wish she understood that I am in this marriage for eternity! (more…)

This just gave me chills

I know I’ve put a couple posts up today but I so felt moved to share this as well. Again another email, leave it to me but I hope you enjoy!

*****************

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?”

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goosebumps on my arms, and thought “That is the kind of love I want in my life.” True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

One Year Ago… Part 27

Once Thanksgiving hits, everything is such a whirlwind that it feels like there is absolutely no down time until January hits. This year proved no different. After we got back from Ft. Worth the next thing we looked forward to was heading to Kansas City.

Every year, the Sunday before Christmas we head to Kansas City to celebrate Christmas with my grandpa’s sister and her family. This fell on our weekend to have his daughter but we usually have to have his daughter home at 6 on Sunday’s. With driving to KC there wasn’t any guarantee when we’d be back. He worked out with his ex-wife that his daughter could go with us and he’d just bring her back first thing Monday morning.

To save ourselves a little time PC and his daughter stayed the night at my parents house so we didn’t have to get up nearly as early. PC slept on the couch and his daughter slept in my bed with me. I’d never slept next to a little kid before and she was extremely snuggly (like I was as a child) so she immediately snuggled in next to me and was out. I on the other hand was extremely worried about rolling over on her in the middle of the night or else pushing her out of bed or something so my brain kept me awake all night long. Every 20-30 minutes I’d stare at her to make sure she was still breathing. I’ll probably be one of those paranoid mothers if I ever have my own child. Needless to say I got about 2 hrs total sleep that night.

First thing Sunday morning we loaded up in the Mustang, met my grandparents at my parents driveway and tag-teamed our way up to KC. PC I think was a little nervous and a little excited to meet yet another side of the family. I think his daughter was just bored. (What ever did my parents do with me when I was her age… we didn’t have built in DVD players or anything… we survived. Yeah the Mustang doesn’t have that either but I’m happy to report she survived just fine!) After a few wrong turns we wound up at the restaurant for brunch. Grandpa’s family knew that I was bringing them up with me and they could hardly contain their excitement to meet them.

After brunch we all headed to Margie’s House. This was the first year for that, usually we went to Aunt Sue’s. Margie had the neatest Christmas tree. She told us she got it on the Plaza at the Hallmark store so PC, his daughter and I loaded up in the car and took off for the Plaza in search for this tree. We wondered around on the plaza for a couple hours going in to different stores and looking and having no luck finding the tree so we headed back to Margie’s house. About the time we got back everyone started planning on leaving so we grabbed a few snacks, loaded up in the car and took off for home. Just before we left Aunt Sue pulled me aside and asked if we were sure his daughter wasn’t mine because she responded so well to me and even looked like me. My heart swelled

PC and I made a deal, I drove up, he drove home. Sitting in the passenger seat and lack of sleep the night before I started to doze off. I felt guilty for sleeping though so eventually I started playing with the apps on my iPhone. I have a game called This or That so PC and I started playing this. Eventually his daughter put up her DS and started answering the questions as well so I added her in on the game. We played this for an hour and a half.

Once we got back to town we thought it might be fun to go through the display of Christmas lights that the Vietnamese put on so we headed into town. Once we were done, we went and put gas in my car, they took me home and then got in his truck and headed home. I walked into my bedroom and passed out on my bed, not to wake until that dumb alarm went off at 6:30 the next morning.

***********************

My aunt is an ER doctor in southern Oklahoma. When it comes to planning Christmas we not only have the factor of weather but also the factor of her schedule of when she works and when she doesn’t. It is a 5 1/2 hour trip to her house one way. This year she had to work on Christmas Day so they planned on driving up on the 23rd, doing Christmas with my mom’s side of the family on Christmas Eve morning and then they’d head home that afternoon. We had started listening to weather predictions earlier in the week and heard that our part of the country was going to have snow dumped on us Christmas Eve into Christmas day so plans got changed. Once they arrived on the 23rd, we were going to do Christmas and then they were going to head home first thing Christmas Eve.

PC worked out with his ex-wife to allow his daughter to come over to the house on the night of the 23rd to celebrate Christmas with us. I wound up having to work on the 23rd so his ex-wife met me in the parking lot of my work where I picked his daughter up and brought her to the house. I was a little nervous because I didn’t have my back up with me. He was at my house helping my mother get ready for Christmas dinner. I faced his ex alone and I was extremely nervous. I drove up to our meeting destination and started rearranging his daughter’s car seat so she could jump in just as they pulled into the parking lot. I buckled her in and away we went. She and I pulled in my parents driveway just before my aunt & uncle did.

His daughter and my mother have this game they play. She gets on all fours under the kitchen table and barks like a dog. My mom goes on and on about who let the dog in (usually my dog Morelli b/c he lets himself in when he shouldn’t) and they go back and forth for quite a while like that. Today held no difference:

She kicked her shoes off at the door, threw her coat on the couch and jumped under the kitchen table.
-Woof Woof
-Who let that dog in the house again?
-Woof
I proceed through the door.
-Well Nicole I thought you were bringing Tbug home with you.
-um… I was. She might still be in the car.
-Woof
-Nicole did you let Morelli in?
-(me) Morelli? Morelli, Come here Morelli…. Well I don’t know where he went. He isn’t coming.
-Woof.

PC & my dad ran downstairs to help my aunt and uncle bring presents in to the house. Once they got inside my mom said, “Tbug, stand up here for a minute. I’d like to introduce you to my sister and brother-in-law.”

And with that she came out from under the table, stood up next to my mom and shook their hands. My mom then told her she was done and she said, “Okay.” and ran off into the living room where she got back down on all fours and started jumping around. My aunt & uncle were extremely impressed with her and my mom boasted on how well behaved she was. Then my uncle went into the living and started playing with Tbug.

Now my uncle is just as much of a kid when it comes to opening presents so he conned Tbug into running in and saying, “Are we going to open presents yet?” Of course we all laughed and my mom said but I thought we’d eat dinner first. Well that got me chiming in saying, I’m going to distribute presents. Dinner isn’t ready yet anyway and we all headed for the living room. At the end of the night we had to take Tbug back to her momma’s house but if they could have, I think my aunt and uncle would have wrapped her up and taken her home with them.

PC stayed the night at my parents house that night because the next morning Tbug and her mom, step dad, sister, grandma & uncle were coming out to our house. She wanted a saddle for Christmas with a pink blanket so we helped her momma locate one for her. Since they don’t have horses and we do they gave her the present on Christmas Eve morning and then headed out to my house so Tbug could try out her new saddle.

PC and I got up that morning to a nasty, cold, misty rain. We made breakfast and then headed outside to saddle up Aloha and ride her down a bit before they got to my house. Once we had her warmed up and the “buck” out of her (it was cold and she hadn’t been ridden in a couple days, but she really doesn’t buck, she’s to lazy) we went and stood in the barn waiting on them. Once they arrived we walked outside and saddled up Aloha and helped Tbug get on her back. Then we lead her out into the round pen and let her ride around. Eventually her sister wanted on too so I picked her sister up and carried her over the mud hole and put her in front of Tbug. Since it was cold and misty they didn’t last but maybe 15-20 minutes and then they were done. We walked Aloha back to the barn, unsaddled her, brushed her off, gave her treats and then they left. Once they were gone I ran in the house and jumped in a screaming hot shower. PC was soon to follow.

That afternoon we played John Deere Monopoly, one of his Christmas presents. We’d had plans that evening to attend midnight mass at church and then stay the night at his mom’s house so we could be at his sister’s first thing Christmas morning. We watched the tv all afternoon as more and more churches and area businesses were canceling due to the inclement weather. About 6 we decided to go ahead and head to his mom’s house so we wouldn’t be on the roads any later than need be but we were smart because we drove his truck. We waited up to hear his mother made it home from work and then we both crashed.

I’ve always had this bad habit of waking up at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning, this year proved no different. I was wide awake at 5am. Unfortunately I woke him up as well. We laid there watching Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase until it was time to get up and get dressed to head to his sisters house. We walked out on the porch of his mom’s house to single digit temps and 2 feet of snow. It was the first year we’d had snow on Christmas morning in 7 years.

PC, his mom and I loaded up in his truck and drove down the road to his sisters house. His dad showed up about 15 minutes after we did. When we got there his sister had a fantastic breakfast ready for us. We ate breakfast and opened presents, then we loaded back up in his truck, took his mom home and took off for my grandparents house.

On our way to my grandparents house my mom called to say we had forgotten to put Santa presents out so we made a quick detour to my house and found the hidden Santa presents and then went on to my grandparents house. When we got there my grandma tried to feed us breakfast again but we declined. Once everyone had eaten we went into the living room where I played Santa again and passed out all the presents. About 11:30 PC got a call from his ex-wife and went to meet her to pick up Tbug. As he was pulling out of the driveway his mother was pulling in.

Once we ate lunch at my grandparents house we then headed back to my house for Santa presents. After she opened the last present she looked at me and said, “Is that all?” I was ready to crawl in a hole. That absolutely broke my heart. My first time getting to play Santa and she wasn’t happy with what we got her.

Memaw wanted to spend some time with Tbug so she went home with Memaw. PC stayed with me. After all the excitement and waking up at the crack of dawn I went, laid down on my bed and he and I slept that afternoon away. We woke up that evening and spent some time watch some movies with my parents and then we all went to bed. PC stayed the night at my house that night too because the next morning we were getting up early to hit the After Christmas Sales on the search for his daughter’s Birthday present.

….To Be Continued….

One Year Ago… Part 25

I was driving down the back road talking to him when all the sudden I screamed.

There she was, a big, fat, black, momma cow (Angus) standing in the middle of the road chewing her cud. I slammed on my breaks when out of the corner of my eye in the right ditch I saw something red. Another cow (Hereford). By this point I dropped my phone in my lap and was bracing myself for the worst. I got stopped and of course the cow just looked at me. I tried to slow my heart down and then I saw a third cow in the left ditch, she was white (Charolais). I realized I had dropped my phone and picked it back up.

-Are you ok? Where are you? Talk to me? Nicole, Nicole, Nicole…. Answer me sweetheart.
-Yeah I’m fine. Cows are out.
-Whose cows?
-Larry’s maybe, Becky’s, I don’t know I’m kind of right in the middle of their property (they own both sides of the road).
-Should you call them?
-Don’t have their numbers anymore.

I proceeded to pull out around the cow and proceeded on down the road. Funny thing with those crazy experiences, you sort of forget what was wrong if there was something. By the time I got home I told him I was going to go in the house and go to sleep. I was tired. But you know how that goes once the adrenalin went away I knew what we’d been talking about. We were upset so I laid there and tossed and turned. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and about the time I went to call him, my phone rang. We talked the whole mess out for quite a while. What upset me, what upset him, how there was a big misunderstanding, and how I didn’t rank 2nd in his book.

We finally got it talked out and both went to sleep. I woke up the next morning groggy but I got up and got ready and we headed to church, of course he was to my house before I was ready to go… what’s new :).

*******************

This coming weekend (Nov 21) was his weekend to have his daughter but she had a cheerleading competition in Tulsa. She stayed Friday night with her mom and she took her down. Then he and I got up first thing Saturday morning and headed down to T-town. We had a little time to kill before heading to the cheerleading competition so we went to Drysdales. That’s where I bought his Christmas present and something for his daughter. Oh boy I was in good now.

Every year in December my family heads to Ft. Worth, TX for the NCHA Cutting Horse Futurity. The boots he had stunk to high heavens. In fact I told him they weren’t allowed anywhere near the truck when we were packing up. My mom and I had talked about it and I decided I was going to buy him boots for Christmas, give him criteria though… he could wear them in Ft. Worth but then they were going back in the box and under the Christmas tree. While we were at Drysdales i found the boots I was buying him. I had him try them on, made sure he liked them, bought them and they went straight into the trunk of the car.

Then we headed to Union High School for the competition. Once we left there we had plans to go see “A Christmas Carol” at the Imax theater. (btw don’t let your little kids watch that, esp in 3d… it was scary!) I know my way around Tulsa fairly decent but we had PC’s tom tom, Ditsy, with us to help. She got us to Union High school just fine, the Imax theater was a different story. She took us 14 miles out of our way and dropped us off in the middle of a housing development. We just looked at each other and laughed while his daughter was in the backseat complaining about being bored. I got out the trusty handy dandy iPhone and got us back. (side note, all we had to do was go under the bridge and we’d be to the Imax theater)

After a fun filled day in Tulsa we piled back in the Mustang and headed for home.

***********

Thanksgiving week was the week. A new test was about to emerge… he had to meet my mom’s sister and brother-in-law. They were all excited to meet this new guy. I was scared to death :). We got there on Thanksgiving day in time to eat dinner/lunch (depending on what part of the country you’re from). He and I both jumped in making some of the side dishes and helping my aunt out. Once we got mostly done he then went into the living room with my dad and uncle to watch tv and hang out with them. Immediately my aunt (AC) told me she liked him, that he treated me great and she could tell he loved me.

The next day the girls went shopping in the big city (Dallas) and the boys stayed on the ranch to bum around. I got text messages and phone calls all day from my sweetheart asking what was going on and if I was enjoying myself.

On Saturday we headed home.

Sunday he and I proceeded to put up my mom’s Christmas tree. We didn’t decorate it but we put it up to make sure that it got up before the weekend before Christmas.

to be continued…..

One Year Ago… Part 24

He stayed at the house with me for a while until it was time to head to bed and then he went home. While he was driving I hopped in the shower. When I got out he was home and we both went to sleep.

Up to this point we hadn’t had a whole lot of run-ins with the ex wife. She kept to herself, we kept to ours other than when PC would go to pick up his daughter or we’d take her home. Unfortunately, that all changed.

I am an avid Dancing with the Stars fan. I try to not miss an episode. In fact I want to take Ballroom dance lessons myself someday just to say I can do it. Monday night is the competition with the results show on Tuesday nights.

This particular Monday night PC came over to watch. He wanted to spend time with me, it was his first night home where I was back in town as well and since I watch so did he. This is also the night I started loathing Facebook.

Everything was going off without a hitch, I got home and chores were done. PC and my dad saddled up horses and worked them. Then they came in and I had dinner ready and we all sat down and started watching Dancing with the Stars. He posted a status on facebook saying that he was sitting with his baby and her family watching Dancing with the Stars. It wasn’t even half an hour later after the post and he started getting text messages from his ex-wife about how he shouldn’t be spending time with me, he should be spending time with his daughter, especially now that he was home and she had told her that her daddy would spend more time with her and it upset her. She was at home upset that her dad wasn’t spending more time with her and on and on and on. Of course that made for a very unpleasant evening. He was upset, I was upset. Eventually it was time to go to bed so he left and both of us were so upset. I didn’t sleep well that night and I don’t think he did either.

The next night when I got home from work he was there with chores done and of course we all rode horses again. This is how it went the rest of the week.

My friend Nicole and her fiance Ed were due to get married on October 24th so before their wedding they had a Showerception thrown for them on the 10th. It started out as a wedding shower and quickly turned into a reception since they were headed to Eureka Springs to get married.

I had been taking photography classes and so earlier in the afternoon on the 10th PC and I went around town playing with my camera and doing photo shoots. Eventually we wound up at the Showerception to celebrate with Nicole & Ed. The next morning we got up, went to church and did another photo shoot. This is how our weeks went along with every other weekend we’d have his daughter.

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November 14th was dinner club, this time out we headed to a town an hour from here for dinner. After dinner PC and I decided to hit the cheap movies. Tickets were $2 a piece so we thought heck why not. While sitting in the movie theater his cell phone vibrated. It was his ex wife texting him saying that she and her family had been in Branson for the day and were headed home. His daughter wanted to stay the night and she said it was okay so could she drop her off. This was a weekend that wasn’t our weekend to have his daughter, that’s why we’d decided to head out of town for dinner and then a movie. He sent her a message saying he wasn’t home. She proceeded to reem him a new one through text again about how he didn’t have a job and was going out on the town, etc. At this point I told him to point out the fact that I was the one buying. That calmed her down a bit but she still continued to reem on him about spending time with his daughter.

By this point I was getting upset. We had paid to watch a movie and now neither one of us were watching it because she wouldn’t quit texting and he wouldn’t quit answering her. Finally I told him to tell her that we were in the movies and that he wasn’t going to answer her anymore and for the first time he took his frustration out on me and snapped at me. I slid to the other side of my seat and kept to that side the rest of the movie.

I was upset. We’d paid to go to the movies. We were out on a date which didn’t happen a lot. We were out together by ourselves and he allowed the texting to ruin the mood of the evening. I was heartbroken. I had a feeling this is how the rest of everything would be if I stayed with him. I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t want to handle that. I didn’t want to be second rate to his ex-wife. That’s why they weren’t married anymore.

After the movie was over we went out to my car and I drove home. Once I got to his house, I let him out of the car, I didn’t linger, I didn’t dottle, I just said I was tired and I headed home. This had given me a lot to think about. I was the master texter, I sent and received a lot but when I was out for an evening I quit taking messages or slowed it down depending on the situation. Anytime his ex-wife would text, he immediately dropped what he was doing and answered which usually ended up in a texting fight. I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t want to be second rate, especially not to an ex-wife. I was hurt and everything my mom had said before about always being second started filling my head. Here was a great guy that I loved but I was afraid I’d always be second. I know his daughter is important and any issue dealing with her is absolutely important but for the ex to just start chewing him out and ruin our mood completely was a little more than I could deal with.

He called me as I was leaving his house to talk. It was hard to talk to him. I had so many mixed emotions going on. I loved him so much but the fact that his ex ruined our mood a lot was so much to deal with.

I was driving down the back road talking to him when all the sudden I screamed.

Oh yeah, I’m that mean… to be continued…