I need Thicker Skin!!

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Wow, I learned this weekend I need THICKER skin. Kids say the darndest things and I’ll be honest I don’t have much experience with kids in the first place, but WOW they are brutally honest. Even when they don’t know what they are talking about or don’t realize they are doing it.

Last year I was on the Victoria’s Secret website and found this shirt.

I fell in love with it! But I’m a little on the shy/modest side so I feel very self conscious wearing stuff like this, plus I was dating a guy who didn’t compliment me hardly at all. I finally got you look “good” but that could be in a ratty pair of jeans or an extremely expensive evening gown so my thoughts, Why Bother! Anyway I watched this shirt for months. Finally I couldn’t take it any longer and I had to buy it. I bought it in blue. Well he didn’t appreciate it, go figure but I loved it. But again, being self conscious I hardly wear it.

Now jump forward a bit, my fiance, LOVES when I dress up and he lets me know it. He likes cute shirts, etc. So yesterday I wore this shirt. I hadn’t in a while, I thought if I went outside maybe I could get rid of some of my tan lines, I love the shirt so heck why not.

Tbug proceeds to tell me that I have on a shirt that is too small and doesn’t fit me right. I’m not sure what she was basing it off of though… All I’ve ever seen her mother in is t-shirts so maybe she doesn’t wear tube tops? Maybe Tbug figured since it was a tube top, she didn’t know what that was so she thought I was trying to make something fit that didn’t? I truthfully don’t have a clue but I’ll tell you it hurt! I proceeded to explain it was a tube top and that’s how they were supposed to fit… trying to describe a tube top. She said oh ok and walked on… Yeesh!

Take two….

This doesn’t require so much thick skin really as just, KIDS! We all jumped in the pool yesterday afternoon. PC had 3 noodles, I had 3 noodles and Tbug stuck with her tube.

We also had 2 lounging floats. Well PC decided to put his noodles on the floating lounge. Me, I had the other floating lounge and was using it to wheel around the pool jumping up and down on the noodles so I didn’t go completely under water (hard to describe but short point, I was using it). Well when PC did this then Tbug wanted noodles so she got 3 and then wanted the other floating lounger. Well since I had it and was using it I didn’t give it up so she was mad. Said she didn’t get the noodles just for that, even though we knew she did. So then eventually she put her tube on and came to the deep end with us and latched on to the floating lounge I had. Well I got something in my eye so I let go to rub my eye and she snatched on to the floating lounge. I asked for it back and she said, “But I had it first.”
I said, “Excuse me who had it first?”
-I did.
-Who did? I believe I had it first and you took it from me.
-No I didn’t. I had it first.
-If you had it first then why did you have to ask me for it?

Yeah that stopped her. I guess I was kind of mean but I made her give it back to me because I’d told her she couldn’t have it before she took it. I just thought if I didn’t she’d try me again later.

She did make me extremely happy though, she cleaned up her room before she left to go home yesterday and she kept it clean the entire weekend. Plus she helped move her clothes wherever they needed to be but boy I’m scared to be the hated step-mother.

Peace, Love & Thicker Skin!

0 thoughts on “I need Thicker Skin!!

  1. 🙂 I agree, don't take it too personal, but I know it can sting!

    With my step mom she really was a pain in my ass! I would just make sure that you walk the line very carefuly. I won't let my future husband punish aidyn if I am in the same room as him. I want my son to listen to my fh, but at the same time, its hard taking criticism from the step parent.. its just how it is! I would have her dad do more of the punishing, so that you dont have to be the bad guy! She should resepct you, but make sure you are careful about what you say and how you say it!

    My dad always said to his wife.. “Don't make me chose between my children or you, because you wont like the answer!” they split up for over 6 months because of how she treated me!

  2. I don't know much about step-parenting but I do know that my own daughter and I had an arguement over who was going to use the hammer. It just happens, all kids try to see what they can get away with. All kids want to grow up and do what grown-ups do.

    Someone told me once relationship are like bank accounts. We make withdrawals and deposits. As long as there are more deposits than withdrawals every thing is good. It takes a lot of depositing to make sure there's enough in there when we do stuff ( ususally stupid stuff or not thinking stuff) that makes a big withdrawal. Hope that makes sense.

    And deposits for everyone are different. For my sister it's presents for me it's if someone will come and work with me. Have to find out what Tbug thinks is a deposit. Wish you all the best with that.

  3. I was a step mother once to kids only a couple of years younger than me. It wasn't pretty. I hadn't had any children of my own at that time and it was difficult. Good luck with that. Sounds like you're handling it well. Yes, thick skin is essential and not taking anything too personally.

  4. Oh gosh, I can't imagine what being a step mom is like, but I'm sure it gets conflicting at times. Good luck!!

  5. I don't have any advise about step-parenting, but a few words from the parenting trenches:
    #1 – DON'T PANIC! This guide works for everything from potty training to teaching a teen to drive!
    #2 – Don't argue with someone younger than 18.
    #3 – Work together to establish “Rules of Respect” for your house and the consequenses should someone choose not to follow them
    #4 – If you have clearly stated your expectations and the consequenses, then there is rarely a time when #2 be difficult to follow.
    #5 – (totally off the cuff since I haven't been in the step-parenting trenches) As a general rule of thumb, I would let Dad and Mom handle/deal with disipline issues (grades, friends, misbehaviour) BUT I totally get invovled with respect issues. (and it sounds like you did!)
    #6 – ALWAYS maintain a united front with your husband…even if that means asking him to come look at something in the other room to discuss the way things are going down if you don't agree.
    #7 – DON'T PANIC!

  6. I think that is a great shirt : ) I am so glad that you got it : ) Who cares what your daughter said : ) If you know it looks good it does! Do you mind adding our communal global link to your post so others can visit us as well? Thanks!

  7. I'm sure being a step-mom is super hard. And kids do say things that hurt our feelings…my son told me one day I had a “big butt”. I freaked out. But I had to remind myself that he's two…to him I'm sure my butt is HUGE. 😉

  8. Nicole, I totally agree with Belle5. She laid it out perfectly. The key is that you and Prince Charming need to be on the same page. Also, PC needs to stand up for you in front of TBug.

    Stay strong!! We're all here for you!

  9. Love that top!!! i only wear things like that when I am in a different country so noone would recognise me!! Works until you get out the holiday pics to show everyone and here I am walking around in Daisy dukes and a boob top!!!

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