So who really wants to be alone, little lone on holidays? Well I can sure tell you, I don’t. Because I hadn’t been alone on a holiday in a lot time I didn’t know what I was going to do with the 4th of July approaching very fast. It was a scary time. Some friends of mine had a fireworks stand and they said I could come hang out there but then my mom got the bright idea we should go visit my aunt and uncle in southern Oklahoma, get as far away from here as possible and go relax in her swimming pool. We could take my dad’s horse down with us and practice in my uncle’s Barn to get the mare in different surroundings (dad was training her to be a cutting horse). So we loaded up the trailer, packed our suitcases and headed for Oklahoma.
The thought was a great idea, but in actuality, there is a lot of downtime to do nothing but think. My mom and my aunt tried to keep me busy but busy wasn’t cutting it for me. Since the 4th was on Saturday last year, work let us out on Friday so we actually went down on the 3rd. When we got there my mom and I met up with my aunt and we all went to town while my aunt got her nails done. We went shopping and to Wal-Mart. The town she lives in has one of the dirtiest ranked Walmart’s in the nation. How’s that for nice thoughts. Anyway…. when we got back to the house we jumped in the pool. When my uncle got in from working cattle we all went to the movies. My mom wanted to see The Proposal. I thought I was ok with that, ok definitely a cute movie but not one you really want to watch when you break up with someone.
By the time we got back to the ranch (my aunt & uncle’s house and yeah it’s a nice sized place) it was late and everyone went to sleep. Well that is, everyone but the insomniac, me. I laid there and played solitaire & spider solitaire, Free cell & Hearts. Nothing could make my mind shut down and then if right on cue I got a text from him. He was still awake and had actually left the house he was living in to run to Sonic for a drink. I figured since he’s up I’m going to take advantage of this and called him. We wound up talking from about midnight until 3am when I decided my phone was going to die if I didn’t plug it in and the cord wasn’t long enough to reach the bed. We talked about everything. What happened in my previous relationship, how he wound up down in Kentucky, what it was like living in Afghanistan, his daughter and the fact she was coming to visit him for a week. You name it, we talked about it. I believe God knew what I needed, a friend to talk to and he delivered. I must have felt at ease when I hung up because the next thing I knew it was 7am and I got up and headed out to the arena to ride horses.
The 4th was an extremely hot day at my aunt & uncles so we got done riding horses early, cooled them off and put them up. Then we headed back to the house, cooked lunch and then became fish and swam all afternoon. It was the coolest place to be. I’m pretty sure I even fell asleep in the pool from exhaustion. My brain finally started to ease up on me. I still wasn’t “OK” with everything that had happened in my life but for once I started realizing that it happened, God had a plan and I just needed to give him my problems. There wasn’t anything I could do. There wasn’t anything that I knew to do… so I slept in the hot Oklahoma sun, in the pool that felt like bathwater. It was great.
We went in that night for dinner and after dinner a nasty, nasty storm blew through. Now me, I’m scared to death of tornadoes and bad weather like that. I don’t want to experience one. They scare me! I hope you get this picture :).
Just before the storm blew through though, neighbors were setting off fireworks and causing my aunt & uncles cattle & horses to go nuts! They didn’t like the lights and the sounds so mom took off on foot to go help check on the animals and my aunt & uncle took off on my aunt’s Gator. When the storm blew up my dad and I headed back to the house to wait, in the dark. Yep we lost electricity. It came back on 5 minutes later but it was sure fun :).
Not long after the electricity came back on though, I got a text from the ex. He was just curious about what I was doing for the 4th of July and wondering how I was. This was the first civilized texting session we’d had. We didn’t talk much but we talked a little, but that, that was enough to set my brain on fire again. I went into my room and cried. I didn’t know what else to do at this point. It sucked!
That night I didn’t even take the time to text the friend to see if he was awake, I just took it upon myself to call him. But sadly he was busy and didn’t have time to talk so we hung up and I proceeded to cry some more. About 30 minutes later my phone rang and he said he had time to talk now if I wanted. We talked but not for long and then I guess I fell asleep.
The next day we woke up early to beat the heat and ride horses and then the 5 1/2 hour trip back home. But I proved to myself that I could get through a holiday alone. It looked as though I had a bunch of them headed my direction…
tbc… (to be continued :))