My parents, PC and I had plans to go eat dinner tonight at a Cajun restaurant called Bayou. It was her idea. She told PC if he came back Labor Day weekend we’d all go eat there. She proceeded to tell me that because we went to the movies the night before and dinner, my dad had spent way to much money since we didn’t buy anything for ourselves so we weren’t going tonight. I just stared at her speechless. It was her IDEA… but whatever.
Finally I said, we didn’t ask you to buy ours, we were going to.
-Well you didn’t jump up there to do it so we just figured we had to buy yours.
-No, you didn’t give us a chance.
-Well we’ll only go tonight if you pay for your own.
-That’s fine, we never asked for you to pay for ours anyway!
Boy this had me fuming mad. It just hit me funny. First off my parents have never told me anything like this so I was completely taken off guard. And secondly, well there was no secondly because this was a first.
I went upstairs just floored and called PC to tell him, make sure he still wanted to go. Of course I got him all worked up just like I was.
So yeah apparently my mom was back on the not liking him. Who knows. Like I said she’s never done anything like this to me…
Well wouldn’t you know, by the time dinner time came around she “wasn’t feeling good” and didn’t want to go. She didn’t want us going either but my dad went in, changed his clothes looked at PC and me and said, load up, let’s go. We jumped in the truck, more fun than staying there with someone who didn’t want us around, or so it felt.
When the waitress brought the bill after dinner PC went to grab it and my dad beat him to it. They fought over who was going to pay for quite a while and eventually my dad won out. When we got back home PC kept going I would have paid. I was even going to buy your dads. I said I know, I don’t know. I’m not sure if that speech this morning was coming from him or her or them. I don’t know.
-Good Night. I lo……. and stopped in mid sentence. Oh crap, please tell me he didn’t just hear that. I shut up instantly.
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
-No I heard you. You started to say something.
-No I didn’t. I tripped over a dog.
-Are you sure?
-Absolutely!
-Ok……?!?!
-Good bye, drive careful! Let me know when you make it home! If you need to talk later give me a holler.
-OK. Good ByeAnd we hung up the phone.
Oh. My. Gosh. Did I really almost just say that? Surely it was out of habit… right? I mean I haven’t said it to anyone other than my parents and grandparents in a while, but yeah surely that’s what it was. I hope he didn’t hear me. Surely not. I had him believing me anyway, it’s all good…. I think. Then I opened the door and walked in the house.
About 9:45 I gave him a call to see where he was. He said he was about 1 1/2 hrs or so from home. I told him I still wanted him to call me but that I was going to sleep. If I didn’t answer just leave me a message and we hung up.
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The next day at work I struck up a conversation with my BOM (Brother of mine as I call him), Kalem. I told him what I almost said. He was shocked. I told him I was too. I told him surely it was just habit. He asked if I ended every phone conversation that way. No, I answered. I haven’t even been tempted.
So yeah that got me to thinking. But they say that guys are very touchy about this type of thing. Don’t say it to fast, don’t be the first to say it, etc. Surely I didn’t feel that way anyway, right? It didn’t help that my work day was rather redundant. I spent the entire day working on the same spread sheet and my eyes were going cross, but it was just cut and paste, cut and paste so it gave my brain lots and lots of time to wander and think.
Well heck, even if I did feel that way, I have to make sure this isn’t a rebound thing. It’s only fair to both of us, so I figured I’d ponder things a while longer and make sure my feelings were real. If they weren’t, well heck it was a mix up and it could happen to anyone right?
I made it home. Told him good night and hung up the phone. The next day was Sunday. It was very un-eventful. He had to head home and make sure he got home at a decent hour. He and his daughter swung by to pick me up on their way for him to take her home. Again the anxiety attack happened… would I see her mother? What would she look like? I actually had to calm my nerves down because her mother was on a cruise. We were actually taking his daughter to stay with her step-dad and little sister. When he pulled up they jumped out and his daughter yelled, “I love you Nicole.” and gave me a hug. I told her that back and instantly my heart was filled with warmth.
Because he had to make it a point to be back to work on time the next morning he told me he was no doubt going to leave early in the afternoon. Especially since he had been away for 2 weeks. I told him I understood completely. We drove back to my house talking and reminiscing on all the fun we’d had the prior 2 weeks. When we got to my house I told him that I would drive over to his house and help him pack up if he needed. He told me that wasn’t necessary but if I wanted to come over I was more than welcome.
He left before I did. I told him I’d be over shortly. I ran in the house to tell my parents I’d be back, grabbed my car keys and headed his direction.
Suddenly sadness hit me. He wasn’t going to be there when I got home from work anymore. In fact I wasn’t going to see him again for a while. The next weekend was Labor day weekend and he contemplated coming home but wasn’t sure if he could or would.
When I got there I helped him pack up his stuff and take it out to his truck. He kept lingering around. I could tell he didn’t want to leave either. I finally told him I was leaving. I knew he’d stay longer if I didn’t and his parents and I neither one wanted him on the road that late. I told him I had to run to town after some things. I didn’t have to but that was my excuse. We both pulled out of the driveway, drove up to 37 hwy, I went left and he went right. I couldn’t help myself, I started to cry.
I heard that sound of the motorcycle go off. I dreaded that sound. I wasn’t sure why that sound was going off. I still had the ex’s number in my cell phone, I still had a certain ringtone set to it so I’d know if it was him trying to call me. It had basically been just shy of 2 months since we’d talked other than I got a text on my birthday saying Happy Birthday. Crap, I’ve been having such a good go at things, I didn’t want to be in a bad mood. It was already late, I didn’t want to get into a fight on the phone. I didn’t want to talk to him really… To answer, not to answer, what do I do??? I finally decided it was 11:30 and I had to get up early. I refused to answer the phone.
Eventually it quit ringing. Well Crap, now I’m going to lie awake wondering what he wanted, right? Wrong, I think I stayed up a couple more minutes to see if he left me a voicemail… if it was important he’d leave me a voicemail or send me a text message, otherwise, it didn’t matter. And I drifted off into dreamland.
I would be lying if I wasn’t kind of curious why he called me, especially so late… he used to know I liked to be in bed and asleep by this time, but for the first time in months it didn’t bother me. I didn’t feel guilty. Had there been a voicemail I would have listened to it but otherwise, I didn’t care. I didn’t feel like I owed him anything. I was told in college after breaking up with a guy after a year and 4 months that how ever long you dated them, it took you that long to get over them. I’m not going to say at this point I was over him but I’d had enough time to step back and examine the relationship we’d had over the years. Was it bad, No, was it great, no. It wasn’t great. And for the first time in a long time I could see that.
Apparently when you get into situations that you even say you wouldn’t allow to happen, if you gradually go in, you gradually become accustomed to them and you don’t know any different. Again, he didn’t treat me terrible so please don’t read that wrong, but things weren’t all that great either. It was easier to see that once you step back and look from a different perspective.
I hadn’t thought about the ex in a while. At first after everything happened, I took pictures of him down in different places but I still had some up. The more I grew closer to this guy from my past the easier it was to take pictures down. I feel those pictures that were up were a constant reminder of how things used to be, even though they weren’t ideal, we are creatures of habit. You get into rituals and habits and it is very difficult to change. The change is the unknown aspect of anything and you don’t always know how to react to it. It is scary, sometimes dangerous, sometimes wonderful, but it’s that unknown that scare people into sometimes not wanting to experience what is in store for them.
I am the first to admit, I hate change. It scares the living daylights out of me. But for the first time I turned that fear over to God (just know I’m not putting my beliefs off on you, this is how I feel), I knew he had a great plan and something wonderful in store.
He came to the house to pick me up on his way to take his daughter home. She ran in the house and spoke to my parents, then I grabbed my shoes and purse and we headed out to take her home. I thought I was going to be sick. I had a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if I had to see her mother… what if I didn’t compare, or stand up to, or wasn’t as pretty as, all these wild thoughts went flying through my head. When he took her to the front door, the mother never showed her face, whew! I survived. After she was home we came back to my house and slept all afternoon. We had to recover. She runs 90 to nothing!The next 2 weeks he had vacation so he was home. He had lots of plans made, clean out the shop, rebuild the hot tub, ride horses, you name it, but every night once I got off work he came over to the house to spend time with me. When he first started he’d go out to do chores with my dad and me. Once he learned what we did and how we fed everything, he beat us home during the later part of those 2 weeks and had them done for us.
We were doing P90X so after chores were done he and I would head to Kalem & Evelyn’s house to do the workout. On the 20th was Jason’s birthday so after our workout we all headed to dinner at Cheddars.
The sad part is all through this Josh became more and more non-existent when he was around. I had a feeling all along that Josh liked me more than a friend and I sound so mean by saying, he seemed more like a big brother to me. I wasn’t oblivious to all of this but I hoped it would work itself out. So I went on about my business hoping that things would work out.
On the 22nd of August we had dinner club at a German restaurant out on 43 hwy. When they sent out the email this month, my parents also go an invite. So decided to come as well. He and I headed over in his truck and my parents drove separate. Up to this point after dinner club we’d go to the J’s and play rockband so I told him that if that was the case, we’d need a way home. When we got to Roswitha’s, I could feel some tension around Josh. I spoke to him and he wouldn’t speak back. Oh great, we’re going to have to have the talk, again. I hate the talk. The I like you but for a friend talk. Really it’s heartbreaking. I don’t like to be on either end of that conversation!
After dinner was over, everyone just split. So I looked at him and asked what he’d like to do? He didn’t care so I said, how about Mini Golf?? It was settled we were going to go play mini golf. He also indulged me and stopped at BigLots for me (yes, I love that store). Now here’s something I shouldn’t tell on myself but I always pay for one round and grab 2 balls and 2 score cards so that I can play both courses, easy & hard. I told him to do the same, in fact I think I grabbed 3 balls so that we could and I grabbed both score cards. He gave me the “Are you serious” look and I grinned. Then we went outside and proceeded to play mini golf. I would like to say for the record I won both rounds, but he was a good sport about it and not far behind me!
All through this I still went to see my friends, A LOT. It’s good to have friends to rely on when things get hairy! We went out to eat at a Thai place every Wednesday night, I went over on weekends that he wasn’t in town, I went other nights of the week even. Actually the month of August we took up doing P90x so I was over there every night of the week. It was very difficult the week of August 8-14th. My parents had gone on vacation to Hawaii so I was left to take care of all of our critters. My dad had 2 horses that had “colds”. It was the best option the vet could come up with anyway. I had to give them shots and take them out and let them relax every night and it was hot that week.
Kalem & Josh came over a couple times as did Evelyn to help me with the horses. They didn’t always want to cooperate with me… The little rascals.
So the Friday before my parents left, my mom looked at me and asked if she was supposed to bring him and his daughter something home from Hawaii. I looked at her with a strange face and told her, she didn’t have to do anything. I never expect anything from her. Later that night she changed her tone and said she’d like to bring them back something, what size did they wear and what should she bring them home. Would he like a Harley Davidson shirt or another shirt or what? I told her I wasn’t sure. I was still really just learning about him myself but if she would like to bring him back something anything she’d bring back would be just fine. She wanted to know sizes so I shot him texts to find out his size and his daughters size. When he replied I told her and she asked me to text it so she’d be sure to have it while she was there.
While they were in Hawaii my mom was calling or texting me with different things they had done or different questions. She told me she found the perfect shirt for him, told me about it and asked if he’d like it. I told her I’m sure he would. She also found something for his daughter. I told her thank you and I’m sure they would be pleased.
He and I continued to talk through our normal portals. He didn’t come home the first weekend my parents were gone. I’ll admit if it weren’t for my friends, I would have been bored out of my mind. It was to hot to go outside except maybe to jump in the swimming pool but the swimming pool hadn’t been opened this year yet so that was out.
I woke up on Saturday morning (the 8th) and wandered into my mom’s sewing room for some reason. Not sure what possessed me to do this but anyway I did. I had made myself a John Deere blanket with the normal green and yellow colors, then I found all the colors for a Pink John Deere blanket. I was standing at my mom’s sewing table and saw all my pink material I had bought and it hit me almost like a freight train, I wanted to make him a John Deere Blanket. I had a few pieces of green and yellow JD material left over from different projects but not nearly enough.
I called my grandma to see what she was up to. She said she was just sitting at the house.
-What are your plans today?
-Well I didn’t have any, why?
-If I ran to town and bought some material, would you be interested in helping me make a blanket?
As with any “outing” at my house, when family (or friends but mostly family) comes over, it’s a huge ordeal. Everything has to be in the perfect place and usually it gets put off until the last minute and a lot of times left for me to do. This Sunday was like every other, except this time my mom came up “sick” and couldn’t help. My dad he was busy outside so it was all left up to me. I was frustrated beyond belief. My mom woke me up at 7:30 am to clean the house and get it ready. Wait, I thought this was supposed to be for my birthday… and I’m the one who has to do everything. (yup, I should be used to this by now.) So I spent all morning cleaning, doing dishes and cooking food.
Then my day got better, about 12noon I got a phone call, it was him. He was just around the corner of my house and needed to know exact directions. I was also nervous because he was meeting my parents today also. That’s when it happened, my mom stormed off into the bedroom mad at me and slammed the door shut. I was (and still am) confused about what I did to cause that reaction. My dad walked in the house and asked where my mom went. I told him what little of the story I knew that had happened and he said, okay and went on about his business.
Then he pulled in my driveway. So I was torn, do I make him walk up to the house? Do I stand on the back deck and talk to him? Do I greet him at his car? I went for choice b, stand on the deck and talk to him. He walked up and I took him in the house. My dad was getting ready to walk out so I did a quick introduction and then we went into the kitchen. I had some things in the oven cooking and the timer was getting close to going off.
He asked where my mom was and I told him she was sick and went into her bedroom. I wasn’t sure if she’d be out or not.
Once the timer went off on the oven I pulled whatever was in there out. He asked what the plans were after that. I said I didn’t have any so we decided to get in his car and go for a short drive. I was actually starving, I skipped breakfast and lunch so we went to Sonic and he bought me a Cherry Limeade and cheddar peppers. mmmm! Then we went driving around for a bit until I looked at the clock and realized that I really should get back to the house.
We pulled into the driveway and parked and went upstairs. As I opened the back door to go in the house I heard my mom’s bedroom door slam shut again. Okay so she went back in her room. Awesome.
I wasn’t sure when he planned on going home. I knew he had to get back home and when I say home I meant the 7 1/2 hour trek back to Kentucky. He never left and he never left. So finally I said, “I’m not sure when you are planning on going home, but if you’d like to stay for dinner, you are more than welcome to.” -I hadn’t decided when I was going back. -Well I just wanted you to know you are welcome. You might even get to meet my mother. But you’ll also meet my grandparents and my uncle and whoever else decides to show up. At this point I’m not even sure.
30 minutes to an hour later my grandparents and my uncle showed up. I did all the introductions of him with my family. About that time my dad came in from doing chores and ran to his room to take a quick shower and change clothes. He came out and threw the brats on the grill. Once all the food was ready to go he asked me if I’d spoken to my mother. I told him last I knew she was asleep in on their bed so he told me to go in and ask if she was planning on eating with us or not.
I had to wake her up which made her grouchy and she told me no. So I went back out and told dad. He said okay, I guess lets eat so I moved all the food onto the table and had everyone come in to the table and we ate.
They went home somewhere around 7:30 to 8 and he was still there. My dad had to run the tractor back to my grandparents and get his truck. My dog loves to run with the tractor so he told me to keep Morelli at the house. I brought Morelli into the back door just so he wouldn’t be tempted to follow the tractor. About that time my mom walked out of the bedroom, gave me an evil mom look and walked back into her room and slammed the door again. A few minutes later I got a text asking my my “filthy” dog was in the house. I sent her one back telling her and I got another one that said to Get him out of the house. haha I was getting yelled at through text and was a little embarrassed.
Finally he said he should get going so I walked out to his car with him to say good bye. I asked him how it went and he said it was great. My family was great, my dad and uncle were hilarious, he just wished that he could have met my mom. I shrugged and said I was sorry, maybe another time. We stood outside talking for probably an hour to an hour and a half. I felt so bad because I knew he had to make that trip. He told me he’d go back in the morning, wake up early and drive. That way he wasn’t tired on the way home. Said he’d just go back to his mom’s and crash for the night. Made me feel a little better but I still felt bad that he had to do that.
I gave him a hug that night as he got ready to leave and I didn’t want to turn him loose. Something was different. It was a scary but good different. Silly me even became a girl and cried, not sobbing cry but just a few tears because I didn’t want this boy to leave. I’d had to much fun with him that weekend. More fun than I’d had in a LONG time.
He finally left and I walked into the house. I asked my dad what he thought of him and my dad said he was a very nice young man. I grinned and headed up to my room to wait for him to call and say he’d made it to his mom’s house. Then I jumped in the shower and went to bed with a smile on my face.
***********************
Now no one really cares for Monday mornings, me particularly. I’m really not a morning person anyway. I love to sleep and my co-workers joke that I don’t wake up until around 10am. I woke up before my alarm went off this morning though, with a huge grin on my face. At about 7 I got a phone call from him.
-Good Morning Beautiful, how did you sleep? -Good morning, really well. How about you? -Not bad. I had a great time this weekend. -Yeah me too! So where are you? -On 60 just outside of Springfield. -I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you out so late. -Why I’m not, I could have left anytime I wanted, but I got the chance to meet your family, I wasn’t about to give that chance up! -They were on their best game last night too. -Your grandpa told me I must be a good man. -Yeah he told me that too, said he could tell a lot about a man by their handshake. You passed the test. -I guess so. -Well I better get off of here, I need to get my hair fixed so I can be to work on time. -Ok have a wonderful morning and day. I’m sure I’ll talk to you later on. -Um… hello, you better, I better get something letting me know you made it home. -Don’t worry, you will. bye -bye.
I then went on to fix my hair and get dressed for work all while smiling on a Monday morning. My mom hollered at me and said she was riding to work with me (my parents and I all work for the same company). Sometimes that makes me grumble because 1. I like my alone time and 2. I hate feeling like a little kid who has to drive with their parents because they have a learner’s permit. I know I have issues… LOL. I didn’t even grumble that morning though. I was in too good of a mood.
Yeah I shouldn’t have spoken to soon. On the drive to work my mom got me upset. She hit me up about the fact that he had a daughter and that the ex-wife would always think she came first. If he started doing good, she’d take him back for more money. If he got a new car, she’d take him back for more money because she needed a new car. On and on and on. It dawned on me right then, my mom wasn’t “sick”, she just didn’t want to meet him and that was a good excuse.
This was all coming from the person who wanted me to move on, date other people, 5 1/2 years was too long to spend on someone who wasn’t going to make more of a commitment. She and I have had our little squables all through life about stuff like this. I know she only wants whats best for me but this guy was different. Besides, maybe we’d be doing better because of ME and MY job and the ex can’t come after MY money.
Just when I think things are getting better, they always go another direction. But he and I weren’t even dating, we had been on a few dates, we’d hung out together but that didn’t mean we were getting married tomorrow. sheesh!
I woke up Saturday night of the party tired. I was awake until late the night before and of course, so anxious for the party that night that I was wide awake at 7 am. Go figure… Saturday = sleep in but not when you are excited!
That morning I ran to town with my mom (as you can see, a Saturday morning ritual) and then we headed home around noon. My dad was bailing hay so I went down to the hayfield to see if he needed any help and to take him lunch. I rode around in the tractor with him for a while until he realized he needed something at the house. He tried to tell me where it was but I told him he’d be better off leaving me to bale hay and him run back to the house to get it. So I started making the rounds in the field when my cell phone went off. I idled the tractor down and jumped off running yelling, “Hold On I can’t hear you.” (Yeah I have caller ID so I knew who was calling.)
He was just calling to make sure I was coming and telling me I could come over whenever. In fact, if I wanted to come over earlier I could. I told him I was bailing hay waiting on my dad to come back to the field but once dad was back and didn’t need my help anymore I’d probably get cleaned up and head his way.
Dad came back and I helped him [do something to the tractor I don’t remember now what] and then I rode about 2 more rounds around the field with him, just talking. He asked about the guy and what my plans were for the evening. Once we got back to where my car was sitting he told me to go ahead and bail off and head to the house and get cleaned up. He had this all under control now. I felt bad for ditching him but he insisted so I got off the tractor and headed to the house. (more…)
I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me and took off for my bed where the phone was laying. I saw the number and couldn’t help but grin to myself, “Hello?”
-Hey there, I was just driving down the road and couldn’t stop thinking about you.
-Yeah I just got out of the shower, can you hold on while I dry off real fast and put my clothes on?
Ha I was so giddy. I couldn’t help myself. You seriously hear stories of guys who say they’ll call and they don’t or the rule of not calling for so many days, or just a number of things, but boy this one was different.
-Ok Thanks, I’m back now, not dripping water all over the floor!
-No problem. I was just sitting here and wanted to hear your voice so I thought I’d give you a holler.
-Where are you?
-Somewhere on 60. At this point it all pretty much looks the same.
-I’m sorry you got out of here so late, that’ll have you driving late.
-I’m not sorry, I’m happy and I’ve made this trip so many times, I could make it in my sleep.
-Yeah don’t do that, you tried that once and it almost didn’t end so good for ya, please keep your eyes open at all times!
-Don’t worry I plan on it.
So we continued along talking until his dad started calling him to check on him. He said he’d better answer or his dad would think something bad had happened. I hung up the phone and I swear my small break down was over and all I could do was grin!
Of course the next day at work all the girls wanted to know how the date went. I was like it was great and with the grin they started laughing at me.
That next week was a lot of time spent talking through gtalk, texts and phone calls. He finally asked me again if I planned on coming to his sisters house on Saturday night for the party or not. I figured sure why not.
Thursday July 30th was my 26th birthday. A group of my friends, my parents and I went out to celebrate my birthday. On our way to town to eat dinner we kept texting each other. In fact he’d called me first thing that morning to be the first one to say Happy Birthday. My friend Jason beat him to it with a text at 12:40ish. But he was second. While at dinner I left my phone in my pocket on vibrate but after dinner headed back home the texting resumed. He wanted to know how my day went and where we ate dinner. What I had for dinner and how it was. Just anything and everything. Then he asked me if I liked Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yup, completely random.
Friday he used some vacation time and wound up coming home early. I had gone to town after work with my parents to have dinner at about 7:30-8ish and as we were headed home I got a text from him saying that he was in town and that he was going to his sisters house. If I wanted to come over tonight, there were a bunch of them just hanging around outside and to head over.
I went :).
I pulled into her driveway and he came to greet me at my car. Good thing because I didn’t really want to walk up to a bunch of strangers alone!
I was re-introduced to his mother, met his sister and her husband and then a bunch of people I’m still not sure if I know who they are to this day. Then, I met his daughter. She didn’t say much to me and ran off with the other kids but it made it all so real. I’ll admit it was kind of a little scary to me. It made it all real that he had a daughter, not that I didn’t believe him but still. I’ve never felt like I was “old” enough for a kid.
Anyway as the night progressed along I became a little more at ease with everything (new people and the fact he had a daughter) and I relaxed. I finally sat down next to his mother and his dog came and plopped down in my lap. She found a home for a good portion of the night.
Now I forgot to mention this part, when I got there that night my phone was on the verge of dying. I tried to plug it into my car charger but it wouldn’t accept it and charge so I went into his sisters house and plugged it into her computer to get some charge on it. A couple hours after I did that I was afraid I’d leave my phone there or something would happen to it (all the kids were in the house playing and I just didn’t want it broken) so I ran inside to grab my phone.
The kids had glow sticks out and were playing with them like light sabers. I walked into the living room and 2 little boys attacked me from either side with the saber. I played along and screamed and said, don’t hurt me! And I’ll never forget his daughter looked at the 2 little boys and said, “Don’t touch her, that might be my daddy’s new girlfriend.”
Wow that was a shocker! Me, I was still gunshy at this point and told him I didn’t want any kind of commitment or anything. I just wanted time to heal but that I loved being around him so we’d just go that route and see what progressively happened. He said he understood and to take my time. He was ok with that and then this happened. I was speechless.
I walked back outside leaned against a truck. He walked over to me and slid right in next to me and said, what’s up? I looked at him, grinned and said, would you like to hear what your daughter said? He looked at me with an Oh, Crap look on his face and said, um….. okay. I told him and I thought he was looking for a hole to go crawl in. I laughed and said, nah it’s okay, she’s fine! He apologized profusely and I told him to forget about it.
I finally went home around midnight or 1am. It was getting late and I was tired. He asked if I was still planning on coming to the party the next day and I said absolutely.
To be continued 🙂
See I give you short spells, I don’t want you to get bored reading it all at once 🙂
That awkward feeling didn’t go away. I kept telling myself, if I don’t go home, I’m never going to get there. All we keep doing is starting up a new conversation. Awe but look at those pretty blue eyes, do I really want to leave them… No Nicole don’t get ahead of yourself. 1 date, it’s not marriage. We were close, in fact he was hugging me because it was chilly out that night/er morning. And then, there it was, he kissed me. It was shocking, it was different, it was nice, so many emotions running through me. I even almost felt like I was cheating on the ex but I wasn’t with him anymore, it’d just been so long since I had kissed anyone other than the ex that it felt weird.
Yeah I think I was on cloud 9 that moment in time. I finally made it into my car and headed home. Before I left he asked me to come over to his mom’s house the next day before he had to go back to Kentucky. I was a little hesitant and told him I’d talk to him in the morning after I woke up. I really wasn’t sure when I’d get up. (yes I was finally sleeping at this point.) He said, well I’ll call you.
I went to pull out the driveway and I called him and told him that he had to talk to me all the way home so that for one I stayed awake and for 2 he knew I made it. And he did. Of course I went back to spastic talking about nothingness because again, I was back to being nervous. There was this great guy that had just kissed me. What was I supposed to do now? I got home, got off the phone, turned out all the lights went upstairs and crashed on my bed about 3:45 am.
The next morning around 10am I woke up to my phone ringing. I really thought that it was my alarm going off and I started grumbling trying to figure out how to shut the stupid thing off. After many attempts it dawned on me that it was the phone ringing and I proceeded to answer it in a groggy I just woke up voice.