Dream Big but not too big

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One of my new favorite movies has got to be My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. I remember when the first one came out, it was cute but I never thought it was nearly as funny as everyone else did. When I was in grad school we learned that your perceptions of the world are changed over time due to age, learning, experiences, etc. Now I like the first one, too, but I still think this is the better one. Normally it doesn’t seem like seconds and thirds of movies are as good as the first, but I believe this one is and I hope that there are more.

Let’s ponder one of those above thoughts… life experiences change how you perceive things. Hmmm… why would I pick that to focus on? Simple… a couple weeks ago I spent the week at my aunt and uncle’s in southern Oklahoma with Tbug. She’s 14 now. How in the world did that happen, she’s just 6, right? No, unfortunately she has moved on to those teenage years.

Being a parent is hard. My little one is 3 and I swear I just had her, but being a step-parent is harder. Here’s a thought that is enough to make you want to cry… you only have 936 weekends from birth to age 18 with your kid. Then as a step-parent you have 468. If you happen to be the step-parent that the kid lives with, you have those extra week days in there also, but if you are the other step-parent, you have basically 468 weekends plus a few extras here and there if you’re lucky.

So in this movie I started out talking about, Paris asks her mom something to the effect, Why do parents always tell you to dream big, but what they mean is don’t dream too big. Basically they don’t want Paris to go to far from home for college. The more and more I watch this movie, the more that line sticks out to me, but it didn’t really just hit home with me until a couple weeks ago.

I know my husband misses time with his daughter. And now that she’s a teenager and gets involved in every sport and thing imaginable, we miss out on a little more time and a little more time. That eats on both of us, probably him more than me, but it bothers me too. Maybe more for me because it bothers me plus it bothers me that it bothers him. I don’t know. We’re both bummed by it, let’s just put it that way.

A couple weeks ago, Tbug and I were talking to my aunt and uncle’s farm hand about college and going to school, etc. We live in SWMO and Tbug lives across the state line in SEKS. But she’s planning on going to Vet school (at this point anyway) in North Carolina. I kind of mentioned that she knows she’ll really not see us when she does that because North Carolina isn’t just a hop, skip, and a jump away. I almost felt like I was trying to sway her to stay closer to home. Plus when she comes home I know she’ll be expected to see her mom, etc.

After I said that, I started thinking again about that line from that movie. Why do parents want kids to dream big, but what they mean is not to big… Wow!

I think all of this really started weighing on my mind because 1) she’ll be in 9th grade this year, high school. 2) We already miss out on a lot of time with her and now friends and school are going to dive in to that more. 3) We got to spend a week with her and then we’ll be away from her for 2 weeks. 4) Her mom is always asking if she can miss this time with us or that time with us for her friends, etc. 5) Time is moving too fast.

Over the weekend hubby asked if we could just freeze time, get the things we need to done, and then restart time.

So tell me, am I crazy? Have you ever felt like you’ve told someone to dream big and then when they start to you start talking them down from it? Please give me words of advice or wisdom, etc. Because then after I think about her going to North Carolina for college, I realize she’ll probably stay out there for the rest of her life. I think I’m going to go watch some Hallmark Christmas movies to make myself feel better before I wind up in the fetal position crying my eyes out!

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