Friday Night Conversations
Did you know that Friday night conversations could end in someone getting pelted in the head with a Mike & Ike.
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I might like to mention that I was the one getting pelted, not the one doing the pelting! Just pointing that out, but it was all in good fun.
So what kind of a conversation might lead to someone getting pelted with a Mike & Ike you may ask… A conversation that deals with babies.
Are you scratching your head yet? Ok let me paint you a picture…
My parents are of the frame of mind that if I want a kid, when I’m ready, I’ll have one. Now other people (lots of other people) seem to think that just after I was married was the time to start asking when was the baby coming. But I’m not sure I’m ready. I’ve never felt my biological clock ticking. Ok so truthfully in one sense, seems all my friends that are my age already have kids, but otherwise, my biological clock isn’t ticking.
I know they say that the older you get, the more chances you have for different things to be wrong with a baby… but still, why have a kid if you aren’t ready? I’ll be 30 this year and yes, this is freaking me out for a lot of reasons… but even though I will be 30, I don’t feel 30. Truthfully, I feel about 16-18, you know except when I get up out of bed in the morning and have aches and pains I didn’t have at 16-18 years old.
So Friday night somehow the conversation came up about babies. They haven’t ever asked me about having kids but when it got brought up they were asking for my top reasons I was scared to have a kid. I started throwing them all out there. Yes, some of them are more funny than anything, but still… they are valid points.
Examples but not limited to:
- I don’t want to have aneurysm
- The whole peeing when you laugh thing… yuck
- Lose quality alone time with my sweetheart
- I want to be able to see my feet
- I want to paint my toenails
- Shave my legs
- I don’t want my kid embarrassed by me
- I’m broke
- I’ll have no life
- I won’t be able to show horses
- I can’t afford new clothes – all mine currently fit
- With some women, once a kid comes into their life, the husband just gets totally ignored
- I can’t drink
- I can’t get my hair cut – although that was supposed to be dyed.
- I don’t like mom jeans
- I don’t want my kid back talking me
- I don’t want my kid hating me
- I don’t want my kid to think I’m weird
- I don’t want to bring a kid into a family that has a split family effect (remember I have a step-daughter. I don’t want either kid feeling left out)
- I don’t want my kid asking me if she/he has another mom because Tbug has a different mom
- I don’t want my husband to leave me
- I don’t want to be replaced
- If I have a boy, I don’t want him peeing in my coffee
- I won’t be able to drink coffee for 9 months
And there are so many more because this went on for a little while.
Oh and one of my biggest fears is not being able to have a kid. That bugs the crap out of me, especially because someone else had a kid with my husband…(before he was mine, but still, he’s MY husband!)
So we started out at dinner and eventually headed to our friend’s house. We started playing rummy and we were 3-4 hands in, I was still having to come up with reasons and the next thing I knew something pelted me in the head.
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| Part of the red is still due to the mean ol’ camera. |
Turns out, they threw a Mike & Ike at me, it was green, because I wouldn’t answer some question I was asked. I think getting hit in the head made me forget the question because I couldn’t tell you now what she asked me. Eventually I was told what the correct answer was because I got threatened to be hit with another one. (just so you know, I was laughing my butt off at the fact they were throwing things at me.)
Hours later and a new bruise (j/k) to go with last week’s camera bruise, I’m still not convinced to have a kid… yet. They weren’t really trying to convince me to have a kid but rather ease my fears.
And I really don’t drink that often, but I threw it out there, so we shook that if I got pregnant, I wouldn’t be the only sober person for 9 months… lol.
So I must ask, do you deal with any of my concerns? Are you ready to pelt me with a green Mike & Ike? Or any other color really? Any thoughts to share or words of wisdom?
I'm a little biased because I don't want kids at all, but the worst thing you can do for a child is to have one when you're not ready. One of my co-workers is married with two kids and said that he loves his girls but kids totally take the passion away from a marriage. I don't want that I also don't want a screaming poopy thing around me all the time. Annnnd I work in a restaurant and seeing the kids that come in there is enough birth control for me lol but yeah don't do it til you are ready and honestly if you don't want them at all, no one understands better than me. It is your life and doing something that others want you to do will only make things worse. That's my little tidbit of advice for the day! 🙂
Frankly its none of anyone's business! I get tired of these questions too and I just either ignore them, or if people won't leave it alone I will leave. The only person who needs reasons os YOU otherwise its nobodys business!
Obviously having a child is a personal choice to be made between you and Mark. I know your friends are probably encouraging/harrassing you because they know you'll be a fabulous momma, but in the end, when the time is right, you'll know it 🙂
I was torn about having kids, and I know I made the right decision for me by having them. But I will say your marriage will be different. I won't say “bad different” , just different.
Seriously wait until you are completely ready. You know once you have it there is no going back, and a kid seriously does change everything and not always for the better. Chris and I were married for 3 1/2 years when I got pregnant. Definitely not planned and you know our family and kid situation. Anyway my biological clock hadn't started ticking. Then we were on vacation in Kalispell Montana and we were walking around Walmart and for some reason I thought all of the baby stuff there was just adorable, even the diapers. So apparently that is when my clock started ticking? So yeah a couple of weeks later we found out I was pregnant, so I am not really sure if we got pregnant before or after that Walmart trip. I kind of think I got pregnant right after but while we were on vacation. So moral of the story don't have one until you are ready and don't worry your body will tell you when you are ready!
Like everything in life every persons situation is so completely unique and their own– so people can give out all the advice they want but in the end it is your choice.
I totally laughed at the pee in the coffee one as that chance of the pee making into your coffee, well unless you have your coffee cup siting right next to the baby while you are changing him is pretty much impossible.
And yes babies do change things. I have heard that if your relationship is good before kids– then having kids will make it better. If it was bad before it will just make it worse.
Kids will bring you the greatest happiness, the greatest sorrow and everything in between – but if it is what you want and the time is right it is so completely worth it.
My words of wisdom are this……..the ONLY reason on this planet to have a child is because you want a child more than anything. You've got a whole long list of reasons why you DO NOT want a child. I didn't see any reasons why you want one, so why would you have one? Having a baby is a life long commitment and it isn't easy being a good parent. The Youngun says all the time she doesn't want kids and we say, then don't have any. There is no rule that says you must have a child. And it isn't like buying a dog…….if it doesn't work out you can just give it away. There are way too many unwanted kids out there for folks who are just sort of…meh…about it to have them! K……that was my two cents! 🙂
ps………having kids doesn't have to take the passion out, as long as you make passion a priority….speaking from experience here….17 years and one daughter later, we are still hot for each other! ;0)
Before I found out I was pregnant I wanted absolutely nothing to do with kids – I wasn't ready and it was the last thing on my mind because I was young, having way too much fun, and very self-absorbed. Plus, have you heard of how painful giving birth is or how miserable you can be while you are pregnant? Let's not forget crazy pregnancy symptoms, insane hormonal rages, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything else in the world – but boy have things changed. I haven't had a problem with peeing when I laugh – but don't get me started on sneezing. Seriously, fml. The hardest part though is definitely how having my son affected my view of mortality and horses. Instead of being carefree and hopping on any crazy horse around, I think about how much can go wrong.. and all of a sudden I can't get myself to get on the horse. My confidence in riding went out the window.
If you're not ready to have kids, don't 🙂 You have plenty of time!
Totally up to you and your Hubby. Do what you feel is right. Dont worry about what anyone else thinks.
Personally for me, my kids are the best part of my life. Can't imagine life without them.
You are still young and have PLENTY of time. I'm not ready, don't know if I ever will be, so I'm just going to let what happens happen. However, I will be on birth control until I either make a decision or an accident happens. Haha