Repost from June 29, 2010
Yes the message was from none other than the boy from years ago. The boy who brought back flooding memories…
Him: Long time no see!! How’ve you been??
Me: Definitely. Just working, How about yourself?
Him: SAME working in KY right now for the government!! Fun Fun. Where you at now??
Me: Wow Kentucky… that’s nuts… oh for now I’m back home with my parents working… in this economy it looks like we are lucky to have jobs. So Married? Kids?
Him: I am divorced with a 6 year old daughter!! You?
Suddenly I felt my heart sink in my chest. A bit of hurt or something, I’m not sure the emotion that came over me. I always said I never wanted to be with a guy who had been married or one who had kids. But wait, me, thinking of being with another guy, just out of a long relationship… was I nuts? Was I losing my mind? I think so… or maybe it is all this lack of sleep! Yeah that must be my problem. Hell this guy never even said he liked me… A few messages through facebook for the first time in ten years is not a marriage proposal. Heck it’s not even being asked out on a date or for coffee. Ok so my problem was definitely sleep deprivation taking its toll on me. MUST GET SLEEP!!!!!
But I continued on chatting through facebook instead:
Me: nope to both. Been dating a guy for 5 1/2 years but that’s on the verge of falling through.
Him: well that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that!! I hope everything works out okay!! Do you have MSN Messenger, it would be easier!!
Me: Nope, and I’m not even sitting at a computer… I’m watching off the phone internet… LOL
Him: LOL I see!!
Me: Although I was actually on a comp earlier when I found you. Gotta love modern technology.
Him: LOL I was on my phone when I got the first message from facebook… LOL
That must be when my exhaustion took over and I fell asleep.
It was so weird waking up that next morning, Monday, of all days of the week; I usually dread Monday’s the worst but for once since things had turned sour; I woke up with a different outlook on life. I’m not sure what the different outlook was, maybe it was the fact that there was life after all, who knows, all I knew for sure was I felt different, better, relieved.
And the most amazing part, I actually went to work dressed for work, in matching clothes and got compliments on how I was dressed, which is an ego boost right there. Especially since I’m fairly certain the previous week I looked like a total train wreck.
In the previous relationship I had made a comment one time that if nothing happened at five years to the day (at least a ring) I was walking. My mom always said that I probably wouldn’t do it and unfortunately she was right. I didn’t walk like I had threatened. But I will give myself credit, I did eventually walk. It just took another six months to find my feet to do it.
But here was my biggest fear: Who wants an almost twenty six year old that’s been in a relationship for five and a half years? Most all the good ones are taken and if they aren’t, why? I actually had a past guy friend tell me that if a girl wasn’t married by the time she was twenty five, there was something wrong with her. That always stuck in my head. Now I was that girl so what was wrong with me? Was I the problem?
When I woke up that Monday morning I realized I had fallen asleep facebooking with him last night and that I should probably respond or he might think I lost interest in being friends or something. So at 9am I picked my phone up and sent him a message… surely he’s either at work or still asleep and I won’t bug him so I figured it might open up the line of communication for later that night, that way the ball was in his court and out of mine:
Me: That’s Awesome
Boy I sure hope he knows what I”m talking about… his previous message, otherwise he’s going to think I’m a complete airhead or something… well whatever………
Me: (one minute later): Oh so how did you wind up in KY?
Him: I joined the army when I was 19 served 2 years at Ft. Campbell. Met a few people then when I got out I went back home for a few years then I was offered a job down here. Been working here ever since!! Well not exactly here LOL I deployed to Afghanistan as a DoD contractor for a year!! That was fun LOL!!! NOT!!!
Me: Wow! Well you deserve many thanks then for defending our country!
Him: I appreciate that! We should have a drink sometime when I’m home!! Catch up!!
Me: Sounds good… and you know, you really should put a picture up on your page… LOL
I wanted to see how he’d changed! I wanted to know what he looked like now!!
Him: Lol yeah I know I’m on myspace if you want to check it out!!
Me: I don’t usually play there but I’ll have to check it out =)
Me: Yeah so I tried that and it said that you were a 40 y/o in Sacramento CA… wow when did you age so much?
Him: Lol I mean I have gotten older LOL and I show my age LOL but I’m much wiser now LOL
Him: It’s kind of funny a few weeks ago when I was home visiting I found some old pics of you and me and Taria in Florida!! What a time that was LOL
OMG I think my heart stopped!!!