Maxine

Who doesn’t love Maxine? I think some of the things she says are hilarious, and yet others, are flat out right on the money… which is sad sometimes! Anyway I got this email at work and thought it was too cute not to share so here you go 🙂 Have a good Saturday morning laugh on me… or well Maxine 🙂

Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light!

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5… Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7… Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8… Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.

10…. Out of my mind.. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18.. Procrastinate Now!

19… I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.