We Lost Her

If you remember here recently I asked for some prayers for my husband’s grandmother. At that time we weren’t sure if she’d ever leave the hospital, but she did. She pulled through and they released her. It actually got to the point she’d have good days where you knew she knew who you were and then there were days like in the hospital when she’d look at you dazed and confused.

About 6 months ago when she was in the hospital she signed a DNR. That right there was difficult for most of the family to understand, but she knew her place with God and was ready to go home when he called. She didn’t want to stay alive on machines only.

June 29, a few friends came up from Texas. Their first goal was to see Grandma W. Hubby and I ran in to town to see both Gary and Ruthie, but also Grandma W. The whole time we were there she never opened her eyes and she had very difficult shallow breathing. The nurses told the family to prepare for her to not make it through the night. She did.

Hubby’s cousin was coming down from Nebraska the next day. I’ve always heard that when people are preparing to leave this earth that there are people they are expecting/waiting to see. Once they’ve seen them, then they move on. I whole heartedly believe that.

My Grandpa was alive until I made it to Southern Oklahoma to see him. I remember driving down Father’s Day weekend 2008. I stayed with him and talked to him. He didn’t know I was there but they all said he did. My dad went down with me. My mom originally didn’t want me to see him like that because she didn’t want me to remember him like that. I told my mom, just stop me. I don’t usually speak that way, but I was going no matter what. I’m so glad I did and while I remember how he looked, that’s not how I remember him. I left around 7pm that night to make 5 1/2 hour trek back home. My mom called at 2am to say he’d passed away. I believe he was waiting to see me. And while maybe that sounds a little conceited… I still believe that with my whole heart.


How to: Make a Photo Wall

There has been a lot of uncertainty in our life in the last couple of years. Truthfully more than I even want to admit to… I know that God has great plans for everything and everything will work out in the end. I know that all the trials and tribulations help us grow into the people he wants us to develop in to. But I also know sometimes I just want to scream, pack up the bare minimum, move to a place no one knows me (far far away) and start a new life. Whew… uncertainty is very scary to say the least :). But that last part is an extreme.

So with that out of the way… If you know me at all, I take pictures of EVERYTHING. Think I’m kidding, just check my camera/phone/computer/external hard drive. No joke! For a long while I’ve wanted a photo wall, and I had one for a bit, then we took it down, and now we’re putting it back up. It goes with some of that uncertainty….

The initial photo wall was hung up with the Command Strips so that it wouldn’t put holes in the walls or do damage to the wall paper, etc… yeah that didn’t work. Sad but true. I don’t know if my sticky part of the command strips was too old or the wall paper was the wrong texture or what, but after I put them up, they came back down, some quickly (like a few days). It was extremely frustrating! So this time around there are holes in the wall. It was just easier that way…

Now here’s how to do it:

What you’ll need:
Photo frames/Photos (sizes up to you!!)
Scissors (just for cutting… ha. see below.)
Command Strips or Screws
if screws, then you need a drill
A Wall for photos

1. You’ll want to trace your photo frames on to paper. The first time around I used newspaper, this time around I used regular notebook paper, except for my 8×10 frames. Then I went into Tbug’s room and stole some used poster sized paper. Trace the size of your photo frames out onto the paper.


Johnny Carino’s – Joplin, MO

Two Monday’s ago, wow that seems like a long time ago! Tbug had a school Christmas program.  First off I should mention she goes to public school now so with knowing everything about public schools and God being removed, it surprised and shocked me with the mention of Jesus Christ in some of their songs.  Way to go middle town America school districts!  I love it!

Anyway, moving on… on our way home from her school program we decided we needed to grab a bite to eat because it would be really late when we got home anyway.  Hubby decided we should go to Johnny Carino’s since we’d both been craving Italian.

On Monday nights they have half price family sized meals.  How cool is that?!?!  Half price Family sized Appetizers too.  Even better!

I also saw this… holy cow, I so need to try this sometime!


Christmas Spirit

First off, I’d like to start this post by saying:

Happy Birthday Momma!

She hate’s having photos of herself so don’t tell I put this up K?


Ever since my husband and I started dating, at Christmas time he’s mentioned to me we should go see the Living Christmas Tree at Ozark Christian College; and ever year we miss it because we don’t look for tickets soon enough.

Last week for some reason it popped into my head he’d like to go and so I jumped on line to see when the show was.  Low and behold it was Thursday of last week through Monday of this week.  Hawt Dawg just in the nick of time!

He got on line, we decided upon Monday night’s performance and away we went.

it’s grainy because it was iPhone quality without the flash.. sorry!

I’m not sure, but I’m sure the story line changes every year.  This particular one was “A Salute to Christmas”.

The show started at 7:30 so we ran by my parents house after work to help my mom put up her Christmas tree and then we jetted off to OCC.  We walked in at about 7:05 and there was 30 minutes of Pre-show entertainment.  It was hilarious.  We even learned how to make a Christmas dinner without dirtying up your kitchen, plus how to cook it on your drive to your relatives house :).  Yeah you had to be there to understand I think :).

The story took place during one of the World Wars, I believe II but they never really specified totally.  Anyway it was about trying to raise the moral of the soldiers who weren’t going to be home that year for Christmas.  It went multiple ways but ended up with teaching the story of Jesus.

And of course the whole Living Christmas Tree portion which was the real kicker to the story of Jesus and raising the “soldiers” moral.

And the whole theme of the night was Home or Going Home Again.  Wow, it was a fantastic performance.  Sadly I was really tired so by the end I was ready to go home, but it was a great show and so super glad we went!

The Truth About Gossiping

Gossiping Sucks!

That’s all.

I’ll leave you with Horsie kisses.  (yes, I said Horsie)

unfortunately my arm wasn’t long enough to get all of Blondie’s head 🙁

Happy Halloween Eve 🙂   

**Btw, I follow my blog in google reader just to see if it shows up with every post and for some reason it always doesn’t.  Yesterday was one of those instances, so if you’d like to read a few tricks I’ve learned throughout my years of blogging, be sure to check out yesterday’s post!!!**

Happy Good Friday

With Easter just 2 days away, and since today is Good Friday, a co-worker shared this recipe with me and I wanted to share it with you too.

I loved at Church the other day it says something about “Taking Easter back from the Bunny.”  I thought that was cute.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to hid & find Easter eggs and to think about the bunny, but it’s also a good thing to teach our kids the true meaning of Easter!

Resurrection Rolls:

**email from work**

Resurrection Rolls

  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 3 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 Tube Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (Big and Flaky)
  • ¼ cup butter, melted (you will not use all of the butter but it makes it easier to have enough to dip the marshmallows into if you have more)
  • 8 large marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and spray with non-stick cooking spray.
Combine the sugar and cinnamon in a shallow dish and set aside.

Separate crescent rolls. (Note: This is much easier if you can find the “Big and Flaky” variety. If you can only find the regular size, trim off about a quarter of the marshmallow before using.)

Give each child a triangle of crescent roll. The pastry represents the cloth that Jesus was wrapped in.
Give each child a marshmallow. This represents Jesus.
Have them dip the marshmallow into the melted butter and roll to coat evenly. This represents the oils of embalming.
Roll the buttered marshmallow in the cinnamon-sugar mixture to coat. This represents the spices used to anoint His body.
Place the coated marshmallow at the short straight end of the crescent roll.
Bring the two corners up to the top of the marshmallow.
Roll up (away from you and toward the point) the crescent roll with the marshmallow and seal to make sure the marshmallow is not showing (or it will leak out when baking). This represents the wrapping of Jesus’ body after His death. 

two inches apart on prepared baking sheet and place in preheated oven for the length of time indicated on crescent roll package (around 10-14 minutes or until golden brown). The oven represents the tomb.
Remove from oven and cool slightly. Break open or bite into the rolls and discover that Jesus is no longer there, HE IS RISEN! (The marshmallow melts and the crescent roll is puffed up, but empty.) Matthew 28:1-8 

I hope you all have a Safe & Happy Easter.  Remember the reason for this season too!


Something to Share

I’ve debated for a while now on sharing this or not. I was actually blogging when it happened and I chose to not make a big deal out of it and still truthfully I’m not but since the fiance and I were discussing it yesterday I thought I might share.

My fiance proposed to me on February 12th of this year. It was funny because we already started making the bigger decisions that day and the weekend (the 12th was a Friday). We had it narrowed down to my grandma’s church (which I am a member of) and his dad’s church (which he was a member of). When it came down to it, my church was the prettier of the two and it is the larger of the two so we wanted my church.

I’ve never been married, never talked to my friends who have gotten married on how you proceed to book a church/minister, etc. Once we decided on the church I called my grandma, who is very involved in the church, and just asked her if she happened to be in the church this next week, ask them what we need to do to proceed in reserving the church for our wedding date. That way we could get all our I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She told me she was going into the church the next day (Tuesday) to be exact so she’d go talk to the secretaries to find out what we should do. Awesome! :). Now I wasn’t asking her to do any of the work, I just wanted to know where to start.

She came home that night and left a piece of paper and a book in my mailbox for us. She then called and said she talked to one of the secretaries. They looked at the calendar wrote us down for Sept 4, 2010 at 11am (I didn’t specify the time, my grandma did) and we just needed to fill out the paper and read the book. Okay, that works.

So we sat down and started reading the book when we ran across a section that talked about Holiday weekends. It stated that you were not allowed to have a wedding in the church on a Holiday or a Holiday weekend and then it listed out: New Years Eve/Day, Christmas Eve/Day, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, oh and wait, Labor Day. Well crap, we chose the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. But they wrote us down on the calendar so we were extremely confused. I finished filling out the paperwork and then PC said he would take it to the church the next day and while he was there he would ask to make sure.

When he got there the next day the minister was out for the morning so PC gave the secretaries the paperwork and pointed out the fact the book said what it did. The secretary looked at him and said, “Oh well I’ve never read the book. I guess the minister will have to get back to you about that.”

When I found that out I thought that odd. A lady scheduling the church should know these things but okay…. So we waited for the phone call from the minister. (this was Wednesday, I’ll help you out with a timeline :))

As of Monday we still hadn’t heard back from the church so PC called asking for the minister who was out at the moment. PC said we needed to talk to him and explained again what was going on. Okay he would call PC.

On Tuesday the minister calls PC, chews him out for being so rude to his secretaries and tells him that rules are in place for a reason and we are not going to be ones to break the rules. We aren’t allowed to have the wedding at the church. PC tried to explain that we saw that and that’s why we were calling but the minister cut him off, told him that things were done incorrectly, that we should have contacted him first before ever reserving the church and just went off on PC. PC thanked him and immediately hung up the phone before he went off on the preacher.

Called me but I was in a meeting at work so he called my mom who was working in North Carolina for that week. My mom told him to call my grandma and get her involved. He wasn’t real sure he liked that idea. In the mean time I get back to my desk from the meeting to many missed calls, voicemail, and messages on Google Talk to call him so I’m worried. I called him and asked him what was up and he proceeded to tell me what happened.

I was floored. My grandma has nothing but good things to say about this minister and for as much work as she and both my great aunts do for him I just was completely shocked. I knew there was a misunderstanding there some where, I wasn’t completely sure where but I was going to get to the bottom of it. PC told me not to but I said, No honey he if nothing else owes you an apology.

I grabbed the phone book and proceeded to call the church and got one of the secretaries. I told her I needed to speak to the minister. She said he was out getting his hair cut would I like his voicemail. I told her no I needed to speak to him now. She said well he isn’t here. I said okay well here’s the problem I have and I told her a brief overview and told her I needed to speak to the minister NOW. She said she wasn’t the one that PC spoke with and that the minister wasn’t there but she’d take down my name and phone number and have him call me the minute he walked back in the door. I gave her my cell number and said please do and let him know I want to talk to him NOW.

Now if you knew me, I’m a non-confrontational person. I HATE confrontation. I wish there was a word worse than hate because that describes my feel for confrontation. I’ll sometimes suck it up sometimes to avoid confrontation. That being said I was upset. I knew there was something wrong and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

I really didn’t want to get my grandma involved but by this point I was upset, especially since she raves about this minister so I called my great aunt’s house, where my grandma spends a lot of her days. Aunt Ellen told me that she was at the church. I knew that’s where I needed to head so I went to lunch early, jumped in my car and took off for the church. On my way there the minister called me.

I told him my full name and who I was (pulled grandma’s name out) and told him I was extremely disappointed with him. I told him that he spoke very rudely to my fiance and I was getting to the bottom of this to see what really happened because my grandma does nothing but talk nice things about him but I truthfully wasn’t seeing it right now. In fact I was so upset with the way things were handled that I wasn’t afraid to tell my grandma what I thought of him.

I started to tell him how we got into this whole mess and he went to cut me off which was just fuel for my fire. I stopped him in his tracks and told him he wouldn’t give my fiance the time of day to explain our side of the whole situation so by golly he was going to listen to me. He told me to proceed so I started from the beginning of the whole mess from our side of the story. Once I was finished he proceeded to harp on me a little bit. I went to cut him off and he said, I listened to you now it is your turn to listen to me. He proceeded to tell me about how “rude” my fiance was to his secretary and he wasn’t about to allow anyone to treat his secretaries that way. Once he was finished I said, were you there? Did you hear how he spoke to your secretary. Of course he said no. I said, okay so you took her word, didn’t find out anyone else’s side of the story and just proceeded to jump my fiance. How does that really look on your part? I said I heard his side and now you can see that I’m on the phone with you trying to figure out what happened, did you do that? No you cut him off and then tried to cut me off. Then he proceeded to call me Young Lady. Oh I hate that, that’s what my dad did when I was younger and in trouble. It upset me because he’s not my father, he’s a preacher, a minister, not MY father. Only MY father can get by with that and that’s because well what can I say to him… LOL.

Now I was driving into the church this whole time. I would say the church is 6-10 miles from work depending on which route you take and I’m not sure one is faster than the other.

Other questions that got asked and statements that were said, and no I’m not completely happy with everything I said but I never once cussed :). Go me! But he asked me how many times I had been to the church since he’d been a minister there. I was like, here lately quite a few. He said well I’ve never seen you. I said that’s because I sit in the back with my great Aunt Ellen and Floyd. I also told him I have been a member of this church longer than he’d even thought about being a preacher here. I also told him if nothing else, rules were there for a reason and I understand that but he owed my fiance an apology and by golly he was going to give him one. I also started in by saying if you are a preacher then you preach every Sunday and he tried to cut me off by saying we aren’t going there, and I said oh yes we are going there, you are a preacher and preach every Sunday that we are to do right by everyone and not judge anyone but you sure did judge my fiance by a hear say version of what happened and didn’t get both sides. I said I know my fiance and that doesn’t sound like him.

By this time I’m sitting in front of the church, just sitting in my car talking on the phone to him. He made the comment, I hate talking on the phone, I’d much rather talk in person. I said great I’m sitting outside, would you like me to cross the street and come talk to you in person? He said you are where. I said in the parking lot across the street from the Fellowship hall entrance and I’d be more than happy to come in and speak with him. He proceeds to tell me that’s fine and to bring my grandmother in with me. I told him she didn’t need to be involved in this, it was between the fiance, him and me but he insisted. I told him I wasn’t getting her and he said that he would. So about the time I get in fellowship hall he gets my grandma out of the kitchen and I follow them to the office. My grandma had no idea what was going on or even that I was behind her until we got to the office. When we went into the office and sat down he told me to tell my grandma everything he and I had discussed on the phone.

I sighed, apologized to my grandmother that she was being brought into this and proceeded on with the story again.

By this time my nerves were shot, I was so upset I was shaking and started crying, it was a bad deal but I never backed down. He owed my fiance an apology if nothing else for the way he treated him. Again I reiterated the fact that rules are there for a reason but by golly he owed my fiance an apology for judging him based off another person’s view point and not seeing both sides. I said I could leave here upset because that’s how I am right now, I could tell the next 5 people I see how rude and inconsiderate you are, do I believe that, no, I’m mad… but they wouldn’t know any different unless they knew you so they could believe it. You took your secretaries position over my fiance’s and we’ve been trying to get ahold of you since last Wednesday. He said well they didn’t tell me that. I said well I’m here to tell you that paper was brought in on Wednesday and we were told you would give us a call. We’ve been making all the moves until today.

Eventually he looked at me and said that he was impressed by me. I never backed down and I stood my ground backing up my fiance. He also said that he was the minister of the church, I called him out when he didn’t act rightly and that being the minister he could break the rules that were set. He granted us permission to get married at the church on Labor Day weekend, but being a holiday weekend we’d have to pay the custodian more money than a normal weekend wedding. but I agreed. He also agreed to call my fiance and apologize to him. That’s truthfully all I wanted out of all of this. I believed he deserved that.

Then all the sudden he looked and said I need to apologize to you both. I looked at my grandma with a huh? look because I thought everything was cool. He proceeded to tell me that he thought I was my cousin. The cousin who got married in 2004, the cousin who became a bridezilla, the cousin who disowned her mother. He said that his wife and my aunt had become extremely good friends during her divorce and they “knew” (again one sided story) of all that happened and he thought I was my cousin.

I called my grandmother that night because I was embarrassed that she got brought into all of this. I was hurt for her too. My grandparents and my whole side of the family were also disowned when this all happened but my cousin is still my grandmother’s granddaughter. My grandmother was hurt to think even my cousin would have been treated that way. All I could do was apologize to my grandma and she kept telling me no apology was needed on my part. She was just glad I did the right thing and stood up for my fiance and what I believed. I told her that PC was scared that she was upset with him, I was scared she was upset with me but she told us both not to worry about it, she was sort of upset with the minister and had he not apologized to PC (which he did) that she would have quit helping at the church. She couldn’t believe what happened did. I told her I’m okay with rules and I understand but what upset me was the fact he wouldn’t listen to our side. Just sided with her and went on.

We got it all worked out and this is the minister that is marrying us. One thing he has done is compliment us every time we’ve been in there. The skeptical side wonders if it wasn’t because of what happened, but I truthfully believe that has all been forgotten and not swaying how he treats us because he treats us even different than he did when this all happened.

We also made it a point to go to church that next Sunday and went through the hand shaking line before leaving to prove we actually did come. Usually we just bi-passed that line.

Life throws lots of curve balls, all I have to say is you have to work together and not against each other. A question that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately is every time you turn around a new person getting engaged is So Happy and Marrying their Best Friend and The Guy they want to be with the Rest of their Life… if that’s the case, why is the divorce rate so high?

I already let PC know that divorce wasn’t an option for us 🙂 I’m not changing my identity more than once. Doing it this first time will be pain in the butt enough!

I’m sorry this was so long and if you made it through, Good for you. The next post will have lots of pretty pictures, Promise! 🙂

Peace, Love, and Making Mistakes

I love you Baby!

Can you believe it, it has been a whole year.

Taken at 3am with his Blackberry

I love you with all my heart baby! One year ago today we went on our first date. The date that changed both of our lives. I’m not sure I could imagine being where I would be today with any other person.

Taken again with the Crackberry

Really in what short of time we’ve been together, we’ve been through a lot too, but I wouldn’t change it for the world although sometimes I wish we wouldn’t have had too, but that’s pointless because it’s already happened, can’t change it so might as well just smile and say, “We made it through!”

Playing around with his Nikon PAS

As I’m sure you’ve seen I’m trying to get our story down. I’m trying to be as accurate as I can and some days it is hard to remember a year ago.

Dinner Club – Roswitha’s – German Restaurant

Other days it comes way to easy! It’s odd how I can still hear conversations or certain phrases that have been said when I think about it.

Playing with the Crackberry again

With our wedding date approaching fast the time seems to be flying by. I don’t want to lose this time, or forget all the feelings that have gone on from day one.

Practice shots with my new Canon XS at the Church we’re getting married at.

I’m just as excited to see what the future brings us as I am scared out of my mind!

Thanksgiving at my Aunt’s house.

It’s crazy how in just one short year we have moved from friends from long past to engaged to be married.

Packed and ready to head to Ft. Worth

And I know I’m marrying my best friend.

@ Joe T. Garcia’s in Ft. Worth

The one who knows me best.

Taken by his ex-wife’s mother at Christmas when Tbug got her new saddle.

And the one who has seen me at my worst.

Yucky Snowy Missouri Weather!

And I couldn’t or wouldn’t ask for anything more. You have been there for me through thick and Thin.

Will you marry me?

And put up with crazy thoughts and ideas to some of the most brilliant we’ve dealt with.

Branson on Valentine’s Day Weekend

And I truthfully don’t believe we’d be where we are today had we gone on that date all those years ago. We were to young and foolish and wouldn’t have seen the best thing that has come our way.

Rain Forest Cafe in Nashville Tennessee Easter Weekend

I sure hope we are as crazy about each other “Someday” as we are now.

cooking dinner together at my parents house.

Because you truly mean the world to me. And I thank God every day that he brought you back into my life. When I needed someone the most, no, when I needed YOU the most!

Engagement photos

And I know we will endure some tough times through out our marriage but I plan on sticking by your side and making it through. We’ve been through tough times already and are still going strong. Here’s to the next year and the next chapter of our life. Who would have thought 1 year ago today would have changed our life, would have been what we needed? Not me but I’m sure glad it did!

I love you baby! I’m So glad you are in my life!

One Year Ago… Part VIII

So who really wants to be alone, little lone on holidays? Well I can sure tell you, I don’t. Because I hadn’t been alone on a holiday in a lot time I didn’t know what I was going to do with the 4th of July approaching very fast. It was a scary time. Some friends of mine had a fireworks stand and they said I could come hang out there but then my mom got the bright idea we should go visit my aunt and uncle in southern Oklahoma, get as far away from here as possible and go relax in her swimming pool. We could take my dad’s horse down with us and practice in my uncle’s Barn to get the mare in different surroundings (dad was training her to be a cutting horse). So we loaded up the trailer, packed our suitcases and headed for Oklahoma.

The thought was a great idea, but in actuality, there is a lot of downtime to do nothing but think. My mom and my aunt tried to keep me busy but busy wasn’t cutting it for me. Since the 4th was on Saturday last year, work let us out on Friday so we actually went down on the 3rd. When we got there my mom and I met up with my aunt and we all went to town while my aunt got her nails done. We went shopping and to Wal-Mart. The town she lives in has one of the dirtiest ranked Walmart’s in the nation. How’s that for nice thoughts. Anyway…. when we got back to the house we jumped in the pool. When my uncle got in from working cattle we all went to the movies. My mom wanted to see The Proposal. I thought I was ok with that, ok definitely a cute movie but not one you really want to watch when you break up with someone.

By the time we got back to the ranch (my aunt & uncle’s house and yeah it’s a nice sized place) it was late and everyone went to sleep. Well that is, everyone but the insomniac, me. I laid there and played solitaire & spider solitaire, Free cell & Hearts. Nothing could make my mind shut down and then if right on cue I got a text from him. He was still awake and had actually left the house he was living in to run to Sonic for a drink. I figured since he’s up I’m going to take advantage of this and called him. We wound up talking from about midnight until 3am when I decided my phone was going to die if I didn’t plug it in and the cord wasn’t long enough to reach the bed. We talked about everything. What happened in my previous relationship, how he wound up down in Kentucky, what it was like living in Afghanistan, his daughter and the fact she was coming to visit him for a week. You name it, we talked about it. I believe God knew what I needed, a friend to talk to and he delivered. I must have felt at ease when I hung up because the next thing I knew it was 7am and I got up and headed out to the arena to ride horses.

The 4th was an extremely hot day at my aunt & uncles so we got done riding horses early, cooled them off and put them up. Then we headed back to the house, cooked lunch and then became fish and swam all afternoon. It was the coolest place to be. I’m pretty sure I even fell asleep in the pool from exhaustion. My brain finally started to ease up on me. I still wasn’t “OK” with everything that had happened in my life but for once I started realizing that it happened, God had a plan and I just needed to give him my problems. There wasn’t anything I could do. There wasn’t anything that I knew to do… so I slept in the hot Oklahoma sun, in the pool that felt like bathwater. It was great.

We went in that night for dinner and after dinner a nasty, nasty storm blew through. Now me, I’m scared to death of tornadoes and bad weather like that. I don’t want to experience one. They scare me! I hope you get this picture :).

Just before the storm blew through though, neighbors were setting off fireworks and causing my aunt & uncles cattle & horses to go nuts! They didn’t like the lights and the sounds so mom took off on foot to go help check on the animals and my aunt & uncle took off on my aunt’s Gator. When the storm blew up my dad and I headed back to the house to wait, in the dark. Yep we lost electricity. It came back on 5 minutes later but it was sure fun :).

Not long after the electricity came back on though, I got a text from the ex. He was just curious about what I was doing for the 4th of July and wondering how I was. This was the first civilized texting session we’d had. We didn’t talk much but we talked a little, but that, that was enough to set my brain on fire again. I went into my room and cried. I didn’t know what else to do at this point. It sucked!

That night I didn’t even take the time to text the friend to see if he was awake, I just took it upon myself to call him. But sadly he was busy and didn’t have time to talk so we hung up and I proceeded to cry some more. About 30 minutes later my phone rang and he said he had time to talk now if I wanted. We talked but not for long and then I guess I fell asleep.

The next day we woke up early to beat the heat and ride horses and then the 5 1/2 hour trip back home. But I proved to myself that I could get through a holiday alone. It looked as though I had a bunch of them headed my direction…

tbc… (to be continued :))